…surprisingly, did not suck! I had a chance to catch a sneak preview of this movie last night, thanks to my friends at Chase Sports. Yes, Vampires Suck is silly and completely over-the-top. However, if films like Scary Movie and Airplane make you laugh, then this one is right up your alley. If you’re looking for deeper meaning, or any message whatsoever besides “Vampire movies are in, so let’s make fun of them” then you’ll be mad that you spent money on this.
The movie is PG-13, but it’s a hard PG-13. I must clarify this, because PG-13 is like the dry-hump of movie ratings. Films that are PG-13 usually want to be badass, but they also want kids and parents to come see them. The result usually stands out as a half-assed compromise that is not satisfying or fulfilling (re: the dry-hump example). In this case, Vampires Suck managed to tread the line of an R-rating, but narrowly stay on the PG-13 side.
I made a bunch of side comments while watching Vampires Suck. Here are just a few:
“You can tell he’s a rapist. Look at him. He’s wears his hat backwards.”
“How come these vampires are outside in the daytime? Shouldn’t their skin be on fire?”
“That IS the Asian guy from The Hangover! I hope he doesn’t jump naked out of anyone’s trunk in this one.”
To sum everything up, this film was stupid. That said, it had a lot of funny moments. If you just want to laugh at lowbrow jokes and sight gags, then go ahead and see it. If you need a good plot and intellecually stimulating humor, then this is totally not the movie for you.
This movie was boring, idiotic, and plain ignorant just like the movie review said. Usually I hate movie critics cuz they are too damn picky but I have to agree with this. The movie sucked and anyone who liked it is immature and has a bland and unsophisticated sense of humor like the comment below mine.