For those unaware, Glen Beck held a massive right wing circle-jerk, I mean, a “Restoring Honor” rally on the National Mall this past Saturday in Washington, DC. I have strong feelings about the very existence of the Tea Party, but I will get to those later. I would first like to say that I believe that one of the greatest things about America is the right of all citizens to assemble and express their viewpoints. However, if the privilege is abused by simpletons, I must exercise my freedom of speech and make fun of them mercilessly. You can probably already tell where this is going…
On my way to a birthday cookout for my play-niece, I saw three older Caucasian folks waiting for the Metro train at the Georgia Avenue-Petworth stop, wearing “Restoring Honor” rally t-shirts. I walked over to them and asked “I thought they told you guys to avoid the Green Line at all costs?” which was a joke in reference to the silly, borderline racist memo that circulated last week. The older folks began walking away, mumbling under their breath. I then said “Be careful! You might run into some poor people or minorities on your way home!” while waving goodbye to them.
Once I left the disgruntled Teabaggers alone and got on the train, I ran into some Muslim friends of mine who actually went to the Mall with protest signs stressing religious tolerance. The women told me that one of them actually got punched in the head by a man who didn’t like one of the signs. As if woman beating weren’t enough, a guy actually said this to one of her Hispanic friends: “I’m not racist or anything, but you need to go back to Puerto Rico!”
Let me repeat that ignorant little gem for you: “I’m not a raicst or anything, but you need to go back to Puerto Rico.” This is stupid on so many levels, that I do not even know where to begin. I can’t believe this clown tried to preface his hateful comment with a disclaimer. Apparently, he doesn’t have anything against people who aren’t white per-se, but since you’re not white, you need to get the f*ck out of the U.S. of A. and go back to wherever it is that your filthy people came from. What makes it even funnier is that the guy actually chose a U.S. territory to exile this stranger to, which makes the insult all the more ridiculous. I could see if he chose another actual country, like Mexico or El Salvador, but Puerto Rico?
If it were me, I would have given him a fitting retort. “No disrespect, but go f*ck yourself, you ass-backwards inbred simpleton This is MY city.”
The whole Tea Party movement in general is funny to me. Everything they’re complaining about was going on during the George W. Bush era. The government was spending money left and right, while people were getting laid off. When people were broke, there was no movement. Now that people are broke and we have a Black President, all of a sudden people feel the need to “reclaim” their country and “restore honor.” This, my friends, is bullsh*t. Pure and utter bullsh*t. Tea Partiers, If you’d just come out and say “Fuck that n*gger President” like we all know you want to, you’d realize that you really don’t need to hold these elaborate get-togethers and hide behind thinly veiled rhetoric. The rest of the world might not like you, but at least we’d respect your sincerity.
To make it easy for Tea Partiers who happen to read this, here is my list of Post-Black President sh*t that needs to stop:
- Reverse racism claims. I find it funny that the folks who are quickest to call a black person in the public eye “racist” are usually only saying it because they are too cowardly to call that person the word that they REALLY want to use. Racism still exists, and the only people who claim it doesn’t are those who have either been sheltered from being around minorities, and those who purposefully pretend it’s not there(usually this is because they’re trying to conceal their hatred or disdain for other races).
- Acting like immigration is the cause of all of our problems. I get it. You Tea Partiers secretly fear that Hispanics will do to you what White people did to Native Americans. Trust me, it’s not going to happen like that. So please, calm the f*ck down.
- Islam is not evil. I’m a Christian, but I know that throughout history Christianity has been twisted around and used to justifiy as many violent atrocities as any other religion, if not more. Hell, the Klu Klux Klan considers itself a Christian organization. What it comes down to, is there are good people of every faith, just like there are assholes of every faith. I’m probably preaching to the choir on this one…
- You really don’t need to “reclaim” a God damned thing. Last I checked, white folks owned damn near everything of note in this country. So please forgive me when I laugh in your face next time I hear you yell “I want my country back!” for you are living, breathing proof that common sense is not necessarily common.
As much as I like standing on this soapbox and speaking my mind, I’m going to end it here for now. Trust me, I could go on and on about this particular topic, but this entry is long enough as it is. It’ll be in a book someday. Trust me. The Tea Party movement has given me way too much comedic material for me NOT to continue to make fun of them as they excercise their Constitutional rights. So thank you Glenn Beck, for all you’ve done to make my job as a humorist that much easier!
Excellent blog.
Thank you sir
Yooooooo,
Hey BNB…you got the name wrong. It actually should be called Whitestock! Like Woodstock for the whites.
And that came from a WHITE person not me. And no he isn’t a tea partier
Whitestock is funny! Although I’m sure there was the occasional token Black teabaggers thrown in there for the news cameras.
My thing is, if you wanted to hold a rally like that, they should have done it in an area that isn’t as culturally diverse as DC in order to avoid incident and explicit metro safety instructions!
The second you hear, “I don’t mean to be a racist,” you pretty much know you’re about to hear something really, really racist. It would be like if I said, “Not to be violent or anything…” and then punched you in the face.
True. I wrote something last year about when people say “no disrespect” then proceed to disrespect the Hell out of you! http://listentoleon.net/index.php/2009/09/15/no-disrespect/
My favorite is, “I don’t mean to get in your business but…”, Grandma loves to use that one on me.
Thank you….for ALL OF THIS.
I agree with you wholeheartedly.
You’re welcome ;-)
Glen Beck was an adict for the greater part of Bush’s tenior. He be greatful to the black government that got him cleaned up
This was on point. I can’t agree with you enough. Some how people have lost their mind and forgot that christian wars have cause more deaths over the centuries than we can even count.
That was perfectly said.Thank you! Thank You THANK YOU! Keep shining a light of hilarity on the stupidity of human nature!
That was great Leon….but I would like to piggyback on your rant and say that Beck gets paid $30M a year for spewing hate and he said that this get-hate-together party was not about politics but Pain sorry Palin got up on the podium and said that this IS about politics..so you have two idiots talking a whole lot about nothing and one does not know what the other is there for when they were the ones who got the permit for this affair…
I commend you!