Last night was full of laughter, thanks to Nyjer Morgan of the Washington Nationals. I was hanging out with my boy E at Ben’s Next Door, watching the Nationals get their asses handed to them by the Florida Marlins. Before I get too far into the story, let me explain that E is one of my best friends in life. The type that you can count on for anything from a letter of recommendation, to helping you hide a motherf*ckin’ body. We hadn’t seen each other in over 3 years, so needless to say, we had jokes and stories for days.
After all the catching up on things, we noticed Nyjer Morgan at home plate on the TV screen, getting ready to bat. Of course, we started making Nyjer/n*gga jokes about his name. Later in the game, Nyjer ended up charging the mound and taking a swing at the pitcher. The fight in the video clip below spawned the following conversation:
Leon – UH OH! MY NYJER! He’s charging the mound!
E – You can’t take that Nyjer nowhere!
Leon – He’s having a Nyjer moment on live television!
E – Oh sh*t! They’re piling on the Nyjer! He’s getting his ass whupped!
Leon – The first baseman hit him with a nice shoulder block. Almost knocked the Nyjer’s head off!
E – Where are the rest of them Nyjers?!
Leon – Yeah! How come none of the Nationals had a Nyjer’s back? They just sat there and watched, like “F*ck that Nyjer!”
E – He’s probably always doing some Nyjer sh*t. That’s why they ain’t helping him.
Leon – Yeah, they’re like “Nyjer please! Sit’cho ass down.”
E - That Nyjer learned his lesson! You swing big, you miss big. He should have hit that pitcher in the body, or taken out his knees. He swung at his head, and that’s why the Nyjer got jumped on.
Leon – Giva a Nyjer a rope, he think he a cowboy…Can’t tell that Nyjer sh*t!
So to Nyjer Morgan and the Florida Marlins, thank you for an evening of violence, chaos and sheer hilarity. I hope whatever suspension or punishment you get isn’t too severe, since the entertainment value of your fight was unbelievably great.
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You a fool for this one, the sad thing is that i thought about 2-3 of those lines out loud last night lol!!!
-Ed.
Yeahq man, we couldn’t resist. The Nyjer jokes actually started BEFORE the fight!
on mlb.com, they said nyjer used to play hockey. like ice motherfucking hockey. can’t hate on a dude that played ice hockey
I agree. He’s definitely fearless!
Nyjer betta get his peripheral vision checked before he does something like that again. He had plenty of time, if he was more aware, to duck under the first-baseman’s clothesline. But noooo, he decided to take it square in the neck area and almost had his lights turned out.
I just want to randomly throw in “River Nyjer,” if I may.
And those look suspiciously like gang signs dude is throwing up after the melee, too. Or is it just me?
Yeah, they look like they could be gang signs. Then again, I’m no expert in that type of shit LOL