I know I’m not the most politically influential person in the world. That said, as an internet semi-celebrity who gets recognized by someone about once every 100 times I leave the house, I feel I must share my opinion on the DC mayoral race. I already know this opinion is going to ruffle feathers, so Im just going to let it fly. I’m not voting for Vince Gray.
Then again, I’m not voting for anyone in the DC mayoral race, because although I live in DC, I’m still registered in VA. The reason why is because my 95%-of-the-time Democratic vote is needed MUCH more in “the Commonwealth” than it is in DC. Someday I’ll switch over completely, but in the meantime, I’ll just talk sh*t about what I HOPE happens here. Whether you agree with me or not, read on as I stand on my soapbox for a few minutes.
I understand that Adrian Fenty has been a lemon-headed, human-stick -of-butter -that-can-speak looking ill-tempered dickhole to a lot of people over the years. Still, he has been hardworking, and crime has gotten a little better out here. I’m not going to address the schools just yet, because the jury is still out on that one in my opinion. After all of the articles and campaign information I’ve read about Vince Gray, the only clear thing I know about his platform is that he’s running on the “I’m NOT Adrian Fenty” strategy. So far, it appears that this tactic is actually working for him.
I’ll be perfectly honest: it all boils down to the fact that I trust Gray less than Fenty, whom I also distrust, but not quite as much. Vince Gray looks like he weren’t in politics, he’d be tying some chick to the railroad tracks right now, twirling his mustache while his little dog Muttley snickers on the sideline. Maybe my theory that he’s actually The Count from Sesame Street is inaccurate, but he just looks like he has a few long, drawn-out evil schemes or two in mind. If this Count Blackula looking dude wins the election, he’ll probably tie me to a wooden board dangling over a shark tank with a razor-sharp pendulum swinging back and forth, slicing the board little by little each time. You know super villains don’t ever kill you all at once…
Seriously though, I know what I’m getting with Adrian Fenty. Sure, he’s been somewhat of an arrogant prick, but every politician in office since I’ve been living & working in DC has had major flaws. His are a little smaller by comparison. It’s kind of like the lesser of two f*ckups.
Once again, I can’t vote in this election, so this is all a “What if” scenario for me, unfortunately. I’ll also go so far as to say that if Fenty loses the Democratic primary in this fashion, he has no one to blame but himself. The most successful politicians in this area(read: Marion Barry) have all been men of the people. If folks don’t like you out here, you’re short. If they do, however, they’re as loyal as it gets. I’m looking forward to seeing how this all plays out. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe Vince Gray actually is a good dude, and NOT someone who survives on the blood of unsuspecting mortals. Only time will tell.
Tweet
I have never felt so conflicted about an election in my life. Both candidates suck ass.
L
Totally agree that Gray’s platform seems to be “I’m not Fenty.” He’s like a sub black Tea Partier..
Well since you are actually voting in VA, LLS!
I voted this morning for a person that I’d never even heard of – because i couldnt bring myself to vote for either of the two devils.
As a side note – someone really needs to tell Fenty that its very UNGOOD to have chapped, crusty lips on TV. :)
I’m a Jersey head but I’ve been following different primaries and I’m utterly disgusted. How the hell did Charles Rangel get elected again? Then people cry out for change. Kevin Powell ran for a Congressional seat in Brooklyn but no dice. I tell ya, if it wasn’t for Fannie Lou Hamer’s testimony, I would steer clear of voting.