Dear Brett Favre,
It looks like you’re going through it right now. A Monday night loss, a potential sexual harassment case and photos of your d*ck scattered about the internet. Just like Bishop Eddie Long, I’m sure you’re thinking to yourself “Damn. Sh*t was all good just a week ago.” I’ll give you this much, at least you chose a good-looking woman to sexually harass in Jenn Sterger. She is definitely hotter than the random Applebees waitresses Tiger Woods was banging out. I can’t make fun of you for bad taste, because I’d hit it. Of course, I would have chosen a better approach than indirectly getting her number from the Jets media relations staffers and sending unsolicited d*ck pics, but that’s just me.
Brett Favre, you are world famous. Married, but world famous. I don’t condone adultery, but if you’re going to do it, there is no reason whatsoever to play yourself when everybody knows you have money and power. All you really have to do is go somewhere and I’m sure a groupie will throw some trim at you faster than you can throw a touchdown pass to Percy Harvin or Randy Moss. This leads me to believe that you just had to have this one particular woman, despite the fact that she was off limits and showed no interest in return. If that is indeed the case, then you really are the arrogant, self-centered jackass that holds entire NFL teams hostage each year during the offseason as you contemplate “retirement.”
Let me put some advice out there, not just for you Brett, but for all famous people as far as their sex lives: NEVER LEAVE A DIGITAL TRAIL! First of all, voicemails are always a bad idea. TMZ lives for that sh*t! Secondly, never send a woman unsolicited d*ck pictures. That has a very low success rate. Let’s be real about it: that’s something only creepy weirdo perverts would find appropriate. I’m no hypocrite. I’ve made a few “independent films” with women in my day, and if I become famous, I’m prepared to deal with some chick selling photos to Perez Hilton saying “That’s ListenToLeon’s johnson on my forehead.” The difference is, I have never sneak-attacked anyone’s inbox. The shock of checking messages and going from zero to boner with no prior warning is never a good thing.
Actually, I have to take a break for a second and pat myself on the back for using the word “johnson” to describe my penis. That’s some old school, country people sitting on the front porch variety sh*t talk right there!
Back to you, Brett. I hope you’ve learned something from this. Either way, you’re still going to the NFL Hall of Fame, and you own damn near every quarterback record there is. It’s going to be alright regardless. However, you kind of look like a jackass right now, so please, please, PLEASE, either be faithful to your wife, or do a better job selecting and managing your side pieces.
Sincerely,
ListenToLeon
P.S., this quote from Jenn Sterger is priceless!
TweetI just want to make it clear I never met him, saw him, etc… because I don’t roll that way. That way meaning old.. or married. Some big boobed hoes have morals and souls believe it or not..
That quote.. Just.. Wow.
Yeah, I was like WTF the first time I saw it, too
LOL @ you Leon and SMH @ Brett. Good for that brawd tho, everyone ain’t out for the quick come up, being an adultress. just ON celebrities scrotums etc. good for her.
Yeah, but still…it makes me feel some kind of way to see so many big-time athletes play themselves. Makes you wonder about the whole system of putting athletes & celebrities on such pedestals, like it’s just a matter of time before the sh*t hits the fan…LOL
Exactly Leon more folk ought realize celebs are no diff than you or me, and our own relative awesomeness, LOL yet simply human.
That quote from Jenn was something else. Whatever happened to just getting a groupie.
…..oh my fault you never know if the groupie talk.
Example B&B: http://dasmokingace.blogspot.com/2010/05/bobby-v-likes-true-blood-and-michael.html
Yeah, we live in an era where kissing and telling(or more accurately, f*cking and telling) has become an industry in itself.
i think you meant “faster than you can throw an interception” lol
HILARIOUS! That’s what I should have written!