The Internet Cannot Kill Morgan Freeman

Morgan Freeman proudly serving his country, circa 1863

Earlier today, there was a Twitter rumor allegedly started by CNN stating that Morgan Freeman died. I researched it, and found out that the rumor was false, as I suspected it might be. Morgan Freeman is the closest thing Black people have to Chuck Norris(aside from Billy Dee Williams, of course). He can’t die unless you defeat him in battle and cut his head off, almost like a Black Highlander. Yeah, I said it! Morgan Freeman is a Blilander! Therefore, the internet cannot kill him with a mere rumor. He scoffs at that sh*t!

Besides, neither Morgan Freeman nor James Earl Jones is allowed to die until one of them narrates my life story.

This also got me to wondering, “Has anyone ever seen a photo of Morgan Freeman when he was young?” I then remembered that even way back in the Electric Company days, Morgan Freeman still looked kind of old. Through my network of celebrity contacts, I discovered that a baby photo of Morgan Freeman actually does exist! Ladies and gentlemen, here is a photo of Morgan Freeman at 17 months old:

As you can see, he sort of had that Benjamin Button thing going on. Otherwise, he seems to have aged pretty well! Whatever the case, I’m glad to hear that Morgan Freeman is indeed alive and kicking. Now, let me finish writing my memoir so I can hurry up and get him to read it aloud!

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Comedian, writer and Patron Saint of High Yellow.

7 Responses to “The Internet Cannot Kill Morgan Freeman”

  1. Metro Man 17. Dec, 2010 at 12:45 pm #

    Funny sh!t. My wife and I always call him an old slave

  2. Wonderlove 20. Dec, 2010 at 5:21 pm #

    I want James Earl Jones to do the voice over for the passive aggressive guy story and dry humping on your mama’s couch…yeaaa!!

    • ListenToLeon 21. Dec, 2010 at 6:57 pm #

      If you pay James Earl Jones’ salary, then I’m all for it. Let’s make it happen!

  3. kristen 27. Dec, 2010 at 11:51 am #

    I’m gonna kill you for this! I scrolled down actually expecting to see a real photo of morgan freeman as a baby! Damn you, Leon!!


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