A Moment of Clarity

Being awesome is a blessing and a curse. I know that sounds like arrogant nonsense, but the events of this week have proven that it is actually true. I have always been a smart, funny and pretty likable guy. Things have always come a little easier to me than they have for some, as far as academic success, making friends and meeting women. Therefore, I realized early on that I can get away with doing just enough, or a maybe a little better than everybody else, and still end up “winning.”

From Monday until now, it’s been a bit of a roller coaster ride. One that’s made me re-evaluate my ow definition of “winning.” I have managed to draw both professional accolades and ire in the same week, but I ended up in control of the situation, and coming out of it with more money in my pocket. Personally however, I managed to start the week off great, then end up disappointing someone that I really care for by only thinking of myself and not being there when I was needed most.

Yes, it’s true. Leon, a.k.a. Macho Man Savage 2011 actually does have a heart underneath the talk and jokes…but don’t let the smooth taste fool you: I’ll still slap the sh*t out you. Go on and try me.

Back to my original topic; When I took the time to sit back and reflect on things, I realized that I’ve become accustomed to not giving my all. For everything that I’ve accomplished thus far in life, I’m fairly certain that I’d have accomplished ALL of my professional and personal goals to this point had I pushed myself as hard as possible. I’d be a better artist, a better comedian, a better writer, a better lover and a better friend to everyone I’ve encountered thus far. I know by most people’s societal standards, I’m not failing in any regard. However, knowing that I can give a lot more than I have, is almost worse than not even trying at all. I’m not big on having regrets, so I have to remedy this, NOW.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not writing this entry as a pity-party. It’s more of a wake-up call to myself, and I guess for any other people out there with an abundance of talent,intelligence, charm, or some combination of these attributes. If God gives someone a gift, that person pretty much owes it to the world to work hard at refining it, and then share it with others. That’s where I’m at right now; realizing that the sun does not shine and set solely on me every morning and every night. I’m still more awe-inspiring than 90% of the people most will ever meet in their lives. This much is absolutely damned certain. However, I’m capable of much better and in the words of the late, great J. Dilla, I’m workinonit.

On a random unrelated note, I finally heard the song this was originally sampled from last week which makes me love it even more. Also, I’ll post Dwele’s take on it, since I end up playing it during most of my workouts.

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