2011 has not been a good year for city politics. To describe the Vince Gray era so far as “shaky” would be an understatement. Almost every night, there is a new ridiculous headline involving some member of DC government. I’m not an “I told you so” type of person, but I did type these words on September 14, 2010:
I’ll be perfectly honest: it all boils down to the fact that I trust Gray less than Fenty, whom I also distrust, but not quite as much. Vince Gray looks like he weren’t in politics, he’d be tying some chick to the railroad tracks right now, twirling his mustache while his little dog Muttley snickers on the sideline. Maybe my theory that he’s actually The Count from Sesame Street is inaccurate, but he just looks like he has a few long, drawn-out evil schemes or two in mind.
…but did the citizens of Washington DC listen to me? Nope. They told Mayor Lemonhead, I mean, Fenty, to kiss their respective posteriors and gave the reigns to a man who looks like the prototypical villain from a silent film. No one should be surprised that treachery is afoot, and evil hair-brained plots are being uncovered on a weekly basis.
Let’s start with the Sulaimon Brown saga. I’ll recap it for those who are unfamiliar with the story. It’s been long suggested that Vince Gray has engaged in cronyism as far as his government appointments(after accusing Fenty of the same thing). Gray lined up a six-figure job for Sulaimon Brown, whom also ran for Mayor & helped Gray out on the campaign trail, but it quickly led to a spectacular firing that included a security throwing Brown out like Uncle Phil used to do Jazz on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
That’s not even the funny part. The same day, Brown came back to work and bum-rushed Vince Gray’s press conference. He later cried like a little bitch in front of reporters, as you can see below:
Now, I’ve been fired before, so I know that it’s not a good feeling. Plus, when it happened to me, it was a job paying significantly less money than Brown’s. Still, the last thought on my mind in that particular situation was “let me go find some cameras so they can film me looking all defeated and delicate.” I am a MAN, with strength, dignity and testicular fortitude! No way in Hell could I allow myself to go out like that.
Sulaimon Brown may have the last laugh, though. He’s come forward with text messages that he claims proves that Vince Gray gave him cash and promised him a job if he continued to attack Adrian Fenty on the campaign trail. Whether this proves to be true or not remains to be seen. However, it looks bad. Very bad. Apparently Hell hath no fury like a bitch-ass motherf*cker scorned.
On a non Vince Gray-related side note, someone tell City Council Chairman Kwame Brown that he’s an idiot for that whole SUV fiasco. Kwame, you work for CITY GOVERNMENT. Do you really need taxpayers to provide you a black-on-black fully loaded drug dealer special Lincoln Navigator just to get around town?
As if that weren’t bad enough, the city is currently leasing two fully loaded Navigators, because the first one had the wrong colored interior. Someone needs to slap the sh*t out of Kwame for having the nerve to be picky about a free car, first and foremost. Secondly, they need to shake some sense into him for using such poor judgment. Third…well, do we even really need a third for this story? The joke kinda writes itself.
With all of the corrupt dealings and shady business going on in DC and Prince George’s County these days, it makes you wonder just how much grimy mess goes unnoticed and unreported on a daily basis in politics. Trust me, if it’s happening here in this land of Taxation Without Representation, it’s probably happening in your city, too.Tweet