This random -ass photo used for illustrative purposes
Yesterday I overheard two women talking, and one kept saying how hard it is to meet guys. It took everything in my power not to interrupt them and ask for more clarification. I’ve always been led to believe that for women, breathing + having three holes = someone, somewhere will hit on you. These ladies were not hot, but they weren’t ugly either. Therefore, it made me think that there has to be more to the conversation that I did not overhear while eating my chicken sandwich at the table next to them.
The woman who was talking about her trouble meeting men discussed why she doesn’t want to use dating sites like Match.com, which I can understand. Not judging folks who do, but I feel like almost any social networking site can serve the same purpose for free, if you really want it to. Plus, there’s something about that feeling of meeting someone face-to-face by chance and that energy that makes it a little more exciting, in my humble opinion.
She then proceeded to say something about wanting to meet guys in places other than bars, and that’s when I decided to leave without saying anything to them. I did this because I knew I’d hurt some feelings if I said what I was thinking. Want to know what I was thinking? I knew you did! Here is a transcript of what I wanted to say, but didn’t:
“Are you for real? You are a woman, right? If so, all you really have to do is be receptive, and most guys will do all of the work for you. Next time you’re at the book store or someplace random like that, smile when you see someone you like. I guarantee 9 times out of 10, he’ll say something to you. I swear to God, I’ve met women in extremely random places, just because they were receptive to what they initially thought was just small talk. Get over yourself, and be social!
Oh, me? No, no…You seem nice, but physically, I can’t go there. I’m better than that. However, I’m sure someone in this food court would gladly f*ck you. Keep your head up.”
See? That would have been helpful, and only slightly insulting. Since I did not say it for her, I’m putting it here in print for ladies all over the world: if your demeanor is somewhat approachable, you will meet men. Let me be clear, I am not telling you to be receptive to everybody that speaks to you. If he says or does something to set off your trifling jackass radar, then trust your instincts and keep it moving. However, if he seems respectful and you’re attracted, don’t close off that potential for a connection by being rude, distant or negative.
Then again, I’m probably not the best person to ask for advice on this topic. I really thought that Chris Rock was right when he said that every woman is offered d*ck every day. I still think it’s true, but some women have gotten so used to turning down sub-par dudes that the offers are starting to blend together. That, or women simply just don’t know what the f*ck they want. What say you, readers?
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“I’m putting it here in print for ladies all over the world: if your demeanor is somewhat approachable, you will meet men.” <– I'm going to disagree with this one. I'm approachable, I'm smiley, friendly, open, and I. DON'T. MEET. MEN.
#JustSayin
Hi Nadine. My name is Leon.
See how easy that was? ;-)
I say…you are what you attract.
Very true. A wise woman told me that back in college.
OMG, Leon!! Nobody asked you get on here and post articles that make sense, Sir. ;-)
My articles always make sense. Even when they’re silly!
But then there is a part of me that says there is a certain ‘type’ that men are attracted too. I don’t care how many pep talks ya try to tell me. It is what is is. **Japan reality slap** all is fine…all is fine…
it may be true that most women get offered d*ck every day but as it’s stated, just because it’s offered doesn’t mean someone wants it. The trouble is not solely in meeting men, but meeting men in whom one is interested and attracted. Quality vs Quantity as the saying goes…
I feel you
I have to consign on Andi’s comment. I am meeting more men, but haven’t wanted to date more than a few.
Dig it, Andi!
No Leon it has never been hard for me to meet men in general, now do I want most men I meet in general, HELL NO!
I’m better than that j/k no seriously, LOL.
Now meeting men you actually find attractive and interesting, who seem to not be str8 dogs or DL etc now that’s a horse of a different color ;-)
Well said! I’m realizing I oversimplified the conversation those women were having…so I’m kind of glad I chose NOT to interrupt them!
I think it’s more than being approachable and smiling. And it’s sometimes more than being who you attract.
Example: On more than one occasion, I’ve been told I’m intimidating. On another, I’m told I’m always laughing and smiling. Each sounds like the complete opposite of one another, so sometimes perception has a huge impact on whether someone approaches you or not. And then again, I don’t know of many men who like being rejected, so you have that side of the coin as well to consider.
It really is a crapshoot nowadays. You can do all of what you mentioned, and still not meet someone you generally are attracted to. Like someone said….we MEET guys, but the quality and calibre leaves much to be desired most of the time.
It’s not about quantity, but quality. ;)
For a minute I thought I wrote your comment. LOL. I get the same thing… “ur intimidating but ur really nice and friendly” HUH?!
I somewhat agree with Andi on this, Leon. When they were speaking of “meeting” men, they did not actually mean f*cking them! For some reason, and this is not intended towards you specifically, men seem to relate any signal, any conversation, and any casual encounter to just that… sex! Women who usually complain about not “meeting men” are the ones who are looking for something more than the “men” who are just after an object with three holes, or their next sexual escapade; they are looking for more than the man lingering in the food court looking for “a piece”. Women, in general, are creatures of purpose, values and ethics. The ones who complain about not meeting men can be translated as saying “I can’t meet any DECENT men”. Now there are the few rare exceptions who don’t follow these guidelines; these are the few you never hear complaining about an inability to meet men, these are the ones with the disgustingly disturbing stories about the random married stranger they just banged in the bathroom stall. Now that this has been clarified, I’d love to see an article from you on just how often men think about sex in comparison to women! Congrats on your articles, first one I’ve read so far, but I will be reading more ;)
Thanks. Someone else explained to me about an hour ago that the “meeting a man” complaint really means “I can’t meet a decent man who is worth my time & companionship.” Thanks for the comment, and I hope you’ll continue to stop by!
Man , This article is the truth!!!
I think I disagree with julie, Even to meet a decent man you got to be receptive. listen to what he said “if your demeanor is somewhat approachable, you will meet men”- you will meet some good ones and some bad ones but you will meet men.
I’ve used the smile & be approachable thing but still no response. Some guys are just intimidated….MAN THE FUCK UP GUYS!!! lol
This is SO true! In the past men never approached me. EVER. Within the last year I have made a conscious effort to smile and come across as friendly (no more mean mugging). Men approach me on an almost daily basis!!! Black men, Caucasian men, men that should not be approaching me (read between the lines), Asian men, Middle Eastern Men. I have been blown away at the power of a smile!!!
Very interesting thread. All woman have to do is take a bit of initiative. Just say hi!!! As far as the women who have been not meeting any quality men? What is a quality man? You do mean men that are like gq material right? Rating scales are stupid but i mean how many of these men that you are trying to meet are what people would say are a 6 or a 7? I doubt very many. There are men out there with great qualities but you want 0 to do with them unless they are gq material. I am not talking about all women but lots of them fall into this category. I would say i fall into the 6 or 7 out fo 10 category with looks. As far as talking to women. When any woman come up to me to chat I will honestly talk with 100% of them. I dont care what they look like or anything. I am just friendly period. However I view the world much different then most people. Its like this world is so negative and tries to break you down to view things differently. However I wont fall into that trap. I will keep being who I am. I am very proud to be who I am. My thought process goes much deeper then most. Best wishes to all!
I guess eveyone is different. I have no problem meeting women :)
i am a straight man that had to make a comment on this topic. it is the other way around. women have become so difficult for me to meet. why is that? the nastiest women seem to be out there now, with their very rotten attitude problem as well. this makes it very difficult, obviously why it is hard. i am an outgoing man, down to earth, very serious minded that is hoping to meet the right one. but no such luck, so far.
it is more like the other way around, it is the WOMEN that are very hard to meet today. many of them have a VERY BAD ATTITUDE PROBLEM, and are so damn NASTY TO TALK TOO. why in the world is that? i live down the SHORE, and the women here think that THEIR SHIT DON’T STINK. such LOW LIFE LOSER WOMEN, where i am, that is for sure.