Yes, I know this is the corniest title of all time, and no, I am not ashamed to admit it. I’m owning my imperfections today. At lunch today, I learned that if no one else pays me any attention, I’ll be appreciated by one group: bumblebees.
It was nice outside, so I sat down at that park behind the White House to enjoy my lunch. On the bench near me was an older lady with an Eastern European accent. She started making small talk with me, and I could not help but to think “Her voice would be unbelievably sexy on someone better-looking.”
Not that the woman was ugly, because she wasn’t; she just looked like she’d done a lot of partying in her day. Years of what appeared to be wear and tear took her from being an official “cougar” to something more like a “jackal.” Whatever the case, she was friendly, so I spoke with her while I ate.
It was at this point that I realized there were a large amount of bumblebees flying around that park. I am not a punk. That said, I had no desire to get stung on my lunch break. I tried to ignore them for as long as I could, but the bees kept flying closer and closer. It’s a blessing and a curse being this sexy sometimes. Even insects want my body.
I held my ground as long as I could, until an out-of control bee flew dangerously close to my left ball. That’s when I packed things up and went inside. Other than my eyes, I could not think of a worse place for me to potentially get stung! I do not know if a bee stinger can make it through a pair of slacks and boxers, but I refuse to find out through experience.
I need to figure out a strategy to deal with the bees, because I like eating lunch out there. I’ll do a Google search for “ways to avoid getting stung in the testicles by a bee at lunchtime” and see what comes up. It’s amazing the amount of random questions you can find answers to through a simple search!
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Years of what appeared to be wear and tear took her from being an official “cougar” to something more like a “jackal.”
At that point, I stopped having a sensible opinion of what was going to be said and thus stopped reading.. WOW
Damn. Was my phrasing THAT harsh?
I actually have been stung in the eye by a bee and just thank baby jesus you didnt experience that! My eye was swollen the size of a golfball for a week and half!
That sounds horrible!
yeah it was horrible broken blood vessels in my eye, puss leaking out of my eye. I mean it was nasty worse thing was happened when I was in highschool and on the week of homecoming and you know highschool kids are mean.
um…hi Leon, Wonderlove here…long time reader, first time commenter (HA!)….um…ya think the bees may want your lunch? Just a thought….
Dead @ Even insects want my body.