I ain't trying to hear sh*t about some "Four Horsemen" if you're not talking about Ric Flair, Arn Anderson & the rest of them
Does anyone REALLY think that God would actually tell us the exact date when the world will end? That kinda takes the fun and excitement out of everything. The only way I’m seeing the Four Horsemen on Saturday is if I happen to crash a dinner party at Ric Flair’s house. In that instance, I would not be worried about Pestilence, War, Famine and Death; I’d be worried about the figure four leg locks and chops to the chest followed by chants of “WOOOO!” I’d surely receive for trespassing.
So since I will most likely steer clear of Mr. Flair, Arn Anderson and the rest of them on May 21, I’ll probably be home grilling barbecue chicken and watching “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” episodes on DVD. You can’t get me to buy into this “WE ALL ‘BOUT TO DIE! TODAY!!!” crap. Nuh-uh. No sir!
For the sake of fun however, let’s explore the possibilities of this doomsday scenario. Why are people believing these theories? We have all kinds of advanced technology these days, and half the time we can’t even figure out if it’s going to rain or not. If we can’t trust today’s technology, what makes you think the gadgets of Biblical times were reliable? It was probably some jackass with too much free time on his hands who started this as the world’s oldest meme. He probably sent it from a stone-age smartphone, which would be something like a cone with a sundial on one side and an abacus on the other. I’m sure he paid a little extra for the Byzantine GPS upgrade and had someone weld a compass to the side of it.
Shitty artist's rendering of the world's oldest smart phone
If God were to actually give people the date and time of the Rapture, half of us wouldn’t even live THAT long, because we’d be out doing all of the reckless things we could think of since it’s all about to end anyway. Jesus would get here and be like “God damn! Y’all pretty much did the job for us. Lemme just grab the last 4 or 5 good people left and ascend on back to Heaven.”
So yeah, forgive me for being a little skeptical about May 21. This Saturday, I’m just going to continue living by the Golden Rule, and of course, I’m staying the Hell away from Ric Flair’s house.
*Leon’s Note* I included a few “technology” jokes in this entry, since the Black Weblog Awards have me listed in that category. I’ll be doing that every so often so that I won’t feel bad for asking you to vote for me there.
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LMAO, I thought you were going to put in there after the Flair Flop, Arn Anderson came in and did a spinebuster on you. That would have took the cake.