No jokes necessary.
Yesterday Rep. Anthony Weiner admitted to showing pics of his…Shit. I can’t even start this entry without it turning into a dick joke. I want to earn laughs from you all, instead of taking the obvious route, and going for the low-hanging fruit.
God damn it. That could be misconstrued into a dick-and-balls reference, too. I’m a grown man, however, so I refuse to say “pause.” There is no such thing as a gay time out in life. I’m just going to re-iterate that my statements come from a place of straightness, and keep it moving. Although Anthony Weiner is an idiot for sending dick pics to strangers in 2011, I’m not going to give him too much of a hard time for it.
…Man…F*ck you motherf*ckers. Y’all know what the f*ck I mean.
But yeah, I’m not going to judge the man too harshly, mainly because I know that the moment I do something truly noteworthy it’s just a matter of time before my dick becomes famous, too. Not that I’d start sending out photos of my junk to people all willy-nilly; it’s just that I’ve made independent cinema and avant-garde photography with willing participants before, and Ghost of Vagina Past from AOL chat, Yahoo or possibly some random freak from my BlackPlanet days will probably blow up my spot in order to get paid.
I already have my speech ready: “Yeah, I did that back in the day. Yep. It’s ALL me. What? Jealous?! This press conference is over. Please hop off my sack and find your way to the nearest exit. Goodnight!”
It would be the most abrupt, belligerent press conference in history, unlike Weiner’s. No fake tears here. The only way I’d even get emotional is if it weren’t me. Then, I’d get angry and say something disrespectful to the effect of “I can whip it out and prove that’s not me if you REALLY want to take it there. Just know that if I do, I’m dick-slapping someone on-sight. You there, in the front row; I’d stand back if I were you.”
On a parting note, I need politicians to start getting social media training. There’s no excuse for people with so much to lose to make asses of themselves in such spectacular fashion. I’m convinced that at least 85% of the world’s politicians are grimy pieces of primate fecal matter. What sets them apart is how they cover their tracks. If Weiner can’t even think to set up a side Twitter account in order to shake his dick at chicks, well then, he might want to consider quitting the internet altogether.
Then again, it could always be worse. His last name could be Santorum.
Tweet
With a last name like that, you’d think he’d go out of his way to avoid any sexual impropriety. Just sayin’…
True. That’s like having a name like C-Murder and actually killing someone….Oops…Bad example!
Realy?! how many influential figures have to be on blast for flashing their potential side piece their penis or propositioning someone’s chillun in order for the lesson to be learned? There is no anonymity or discretion on the internet let alone your government issue computer cell phone/bb/iPhone. The best you can hope for is a marginally lessened likelihood of being caught under a side account–without your work information and office picture in it..
hehe* I want to earn laughs from you all, instead of taking the obvious route, and going for the low-hanging fruit.et al”
i agree with Andi. There have been sooooo many others that have been burned for sending this type of crap. How can you still be making the same mistakes? Just smdh at this.