I barely remember any "Black man White man Chinese man" jokes, but they were a hood staple back in the day.
Whenever someone asks me “Where are you from?” what they’re really asking is “What’s your ethnicity?” Apparently, I look like a little bit of everybody. In the past month alone, people have told me I looked Puerto Rican, Dominican, Ethiopian and Middle Eastern. The longer my hair is, the more racially ambiguous I become, it seems. I got a haircut yesterday, so I’ll probably be back to good ol’ fashioned “Black” for the next week or two.
I wish I’d discovered this earlier. I could have been a spy! I’d get paid to throat-chop bad guys, assassinate people and seduce beautiful women(for intelligence purposes). Then again, that is assuming all spies live like James Bond. With my luck, they’d probably have me working as a secret agent holed up in some dingy cave with terrorists who haven’t properly bathed in weeks. Plus, getting tortured looks like it hurts. Maybe I’m better off not being a spy after all…
The “Where are you from” conversations all pretty much go the same. Here is a sample example. Yes. I meant for that to rhyme.*
Random Person: “Where are you from?”
Me: “I was born in VA, but I’ve been living in DC for quite some time now.”
Random Person: “You know what I mean…”
Me: “Not really” (although I TOTALLY know)
Random Person: “What ARE you?”
Me: “I’m HUMAN, MOTHERF*CKER! What’chu trying to say?”
Random Person: “Whoa! Whoa! Whoaaa!”
Me: “Just f*cking with you! I know you are asking about my ethnicity. I’m Black. Got some Native American waaaaay down the line, but then again all Black folks do. Or they claim to.”
Being a racial chameleon isn’t a bad thing. If I were actually 100% fluent in Spanish or knew some Amharic, I’d be getting all kinds of free stuff from street vendors, since they tend to ask me the “Where are you from” question the most. Sadly, the only Amharic phrases I know are “hello,” “you are very beautiful,” and “you have a nice ass.”
I’m just noticing that “Racial Chameleon” has “Leon” in it! I may have to add that one to the nickname list. I don’t know. What sounds better? “Racial Chameleon” or “Ethnic Chameleon“? If chameleon was good enough for Randy Savage, then damn it, it’s good enough for me!
*ListenToLeon = Nicer than your favorite rapper!
There has got to be a way that you can associate Macho Man with every topic!
Damn right! I could go an entire year sneaking in Macho Man references over here, and it would never get old! I’d be like Black Machismo!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu8MLbw5uQ4
you are hilarious and I love it!! :)
Thank you
Have you had folks walk up to you speaking in those languages too? I get a chuckle out of it when they talk to me in their respective languages & I give them the *blank, what the hell are you talking about, stare* . LOL!
That usually only happens in Spanish
Ethiopian men argue with me all the time.. Mostly in Boston & parking garages.
That’s funny!
I challenge you to associate Randy Savage by two degrees of relevance to your next yr’s worth of posts!….
I could, but then I’d get tired of writing about him! Macho Man deserves better!
I always get the same question… Since I deejay and have big lips (for a white dude), chicks usually think Im part black. Whenever I tell chicks I’m 100% Jew, they seem disappointed lol… Next time Im OT I’m telling these bitches I’m a quarter black so I can get in that ass…
Well, if these women are resorting to stereotyping, at least yours comes with the assumption of good credit! LOL
I get the racially ambiguous thing too esp depending on how I wear my hair LOL, everything from Blasian and Cambodian to Dominican etc …
It seems that hair is usually what gets people started assuming.
I get the same exact question. I always answer with a dry ‘DC’. A lot of people confuse me with ethiopian and I agree with the above commentor, ethiopian males get downright rude when you tell them no. I had a man blast me in the club telling me i ‘…am ashamed of my heritage..’ but then he also demanded i french kiss my friend. so………i’m just sayin….
Observation: it’s very ironic that you look racially ambiguous are named Leon (one of the most niggafied names ever).
Question: if you could pass, would you?
Be glad it was the generic, “where are [you’re people] from?” A guy asked me if I’m mixed with Italian which is random, but I’ve had weirder. I said no. He asked if I was sure like I’d somehow forget. Then he says, “You look like you bruise easy” I did a black girl what the hell?! He said he didn’t mean anything just that with my light skin tone, I must bruise easy” I was done. I’m starting to feel like it’s not safe for me to go out in public lol