I learned a lot of things today; none of which is particularly useful to my life in general. These pointless discoveries all involve famous women, and they each made me smile. Therefore, I must share them with you, my oh-so awesome readers!
Sh*t Leon Learned Today:
Naked Scarlett Johannsen does not disappoint. I really shouldn’t be this happy to see famous breasts that I’ll probably never get a chance to touch, but it’s Scarlett Johannsen. I’ve always wondered what she looks like completely ass-naked. Now that I know I can say that there is no letdown between my expectations and what the real thing turned out to be. Gotta give Ms Johannsen her proper credit for that.
Sarah Palin allegedly likes Black people a little more than I thought. When the news broke that Sarah Palin supposedly had a fling with former NBA star Glen Rice, I immediately knew that it would lead to all sorts of cheesy one-liners and mildly irritating Black jokes across the internet. I was right, but it’s comforting to know that even the most outspoken right-wing bufoons enjoy Negro penis. Leon Jr. jr. thanks you, Mrs. Palin.
Olivia Munn proved that dressing sexy is a quick way to piss off female pro golfers. I get why certain LPGA golfers would have a problem with Olivia Munn wearing this outfit on the course, so I won’t respond with anything dismissive, like “they sound like some haters.” I will, say this though; I’m impressed by the mere fact that Munn is on the tour to begin with! I knew she was funny, but I didn’t know that she’s a golfer good enough to play with the pros. I won’t even make jokes about the fact that the skirt makes her appear to have “nassitol” because she’s doing big things!
That’s all the useless life-lessons I have right now. I found out that my cell phone is a piece of junk, but it has nothing to do with tone of women and sex that I’ve set today, so I won’t go into detail about that one.
I wish that Palin incident happened during the sex tape era. That joint would sell millions of copies.
Yeah, she’d sell as many videos as both Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton