This is so f*cked up, it's hilarious. Thanks Facebook!
We’re just over three days in to October, and I’m already making Halloween plans. One of these plans tentatively includes telling a scary story onstage at an awesome event from the people at Speakeasy DC. I say “tentatively” because I have been busy as Hell and I haven’t finished the proper steps to be confirmed yet. Sh*t, I haven’t even been updating here as much as I need to! However, I can let you all know within the next day or so if I’ll be onstage telling a story of hilarious horror and mayhem. Even if I’m not, it should still be a good show.
Once again, I must thank Facebook for the awesome photo accompanying this entry. That little kid looks TERRIFIED! His mom needs to move that little zombie baby ghoul away from him, ASAP! If not, she only has herself to blame when he keeps her up half the night crying, thinking that the plastic buck-toothed child of Satan she just bought is coming after him.
Then again, I can’t judge the mom too harshly. When my cousin Jeff was a little kid, I used to lie to him and say there was an evil monkey in the living room closet. I came up with this story because there was stuff in the closet that could be dangerous to a little nosy toddler; thus, I was trying to protect him. I had no idea that seeing his reaction of sheer horror every time I made a monkey sound would be so funny to me. That was an added bonus. He would literally get this expression on his face:
Besides, I came up with this idea way before the Family Guy Evil Monkey, so I was somewhat of a pioneer as far as child psychological warfare. I also used to have this mask that looked a little bit like Jobu from Major League, and I would put it on and scare the living crap out of my little sister whenever the mood hit me. Come to think of it, I was a jerk.
When you were little, did you have any random-ass fears like the ones mentioned earlier? I’m telling on my age, but one of the biggest fears of my early youth was when the original “V” miniseries came on television. When the aliens would peel off their faces to reveal their true reptilian form, IT F*CKED ME ALL THE WAY UP! I would cry every time the commercial came on! I was also scared of the giant Winnie the Pooh that used to hang from the ceiling at the Springfield Mall in Northern VA, but that was mainly because the damn thing was like 20 feet tall. If it were alive, it could have beaten up a real bear and taken it’s lunch money, no problem. Considering I was 5 years old at the time, I don’t feel so bad about that one.
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When I was younger, I was mad that my little cousin wanted to spend the night in my grandma’s room rather than mine, so I took a huge wad of hair out of the hair brush, taped it to the ceiling of my grandmother’s bedroom, and drew some legs to either side of the giant nap. I told her I’d seen a giant spider in grandma’s room and when she begged to stay in my room i refused. She was so freaked out. It was hilarious.
Wow. I thought I was devious! Impressive!
You know my fear, Rocky IV and “livin in america” so insane
I tried to avoid mentioning “Living In America” so that it wouldn’t traumatize you LOL
One of my uncles used to scare me with this plastic alligator, he used to carry around and throw out on the floor LOL…..I wasn’t scared of too much outside of scary movies and they were actually scary back then!
That’s funny. Running from a plastic gator!
I feared firetrucks and late night anti-drug/HIV and AIDS PSA announcements…those things were scary in the 80s….
They were.
u kno the messed up thing about that animation is that, that kid actually looks like me when i was little smh
Yep, you had those same glasses!