As much as I love to eat, I had to check out Taste of DC this weekend. Many of my longtime readers know that whenever I go somewhere f*ckery has a tendency to follow me. I’m happy to say that all of the craziness I encountered in my two trips to Taste of DC were of the pleasant variety. I did not have to threaten to slap anyone, and none of the cuisine I consumed gave me the bubble guts. It was all positive!
You see that Red Cross Squirrel in the photo above? She was actually pretty once she took that costume head off. Surprised the hell out of me! I could not bring myself to ask her for her phone number, because, well…I know what “Furries” are, and they freak me out. It’s a safe bet that if I were to date her and our relationship got to a physical level, she’d take off the cartoon rodent costume. However, I refuse to take that chance!
Squirrel Girl, if you’re reading this, I know you’re not really a sexual deviant. These are jokes. Please don’t throw acorns at me next time you see me out and about.
As far as the food, I am currently writing this entry, stuffed. It’s been a good weekend as far as my stomach is concerned. Gyros, kebabs, BLT sandwiches and of course, libations. While winding my evening down, I witnessed a gross violation of personal style. If this is one of your uncles, I apologize in advance….
Actually, I take that back. If this is one of your uncles, I blame you for letting him walk out of the house looking like this. You have obviously failed him as a relative and a friend.
Once again, I hate to clown innocent people, but when you purposely cut your hair like this, you are no longer innocent. YOU WANT ATTENTION! This fellow looks like he auditioned for the role of Blade, lost out to Wesley Snipes, and never got over the disappointment. What do you call this kind of haircut? A Soul Patch on the frontal lobe deserves to have it’s own name. Let’s call it a “F*ck It.” I mean, that’s what it looks like; Someone cut the rest of his head, got to that leftover spot in the front, and just said “f*ck it.”
Back to the actual event, I had a good time there. Even spilling chicken grease on my jeans Saturday afternoon couldn’t put a damper on my spirits. This was a nice way to relax before having to return to work tomorrow. I hope all of you had fun this weekend, too. One more time, if the man with the “f*ck it” haircut is a friend or relative for you, it’s time that you held an intervention. You can even take him on the show if you want to. Even better, wait for him to go to sleep, get some clippers, and…”BZZZT!” Release his scalp of that affliction in one fell swoop!
Mayhap you evade the ghosts of future gout outbreaks son.
True. Thanks to this weekend, I’ll be on water, salad & veggie time for the rest of the month to keep that from happening!!!
Dear Squirrel Girl:
Very interested in borrowing your costume. Will dry clean afterward.
Thanks,
Wonderlove
It wasn’t a sexy costume, so I don’t think you’ll get any action wearing it on Halloween night…Unless you meet a guy with a Squirrel fetish.