The closest thing I may get to NBA action this season
I just learned that the NBA canceled 2 more weeks of it’s season as the lockout continues. As a basketball fan, this upsets me. I am already having a bad day, so on top of everything else, the news that my favorite sport is that much closer to not having a season at all makes me want to lash out at people.
Fortunately for the NBA players, 98% of them are much larger than me, so I cannot realistically seek revenge in the form of ass whippings. I could say “I’m gonna kick Kevin Garnett’s ass…ol’ kidney bean-head motherf*cker…” but in real-life, his forearm is about the length of my entire body. The man could punch me in the face from around the corner like main man from the Fantastic Four if he really wanted to.
As for the owners, fortunately for them, I am too handsome and dare I say it, sexy, to go to jail for assaulting someone wealthy. Inmates would be drawing straws the moment I stepped off the prison bus. Therefore, I won’t physically attack any team owners either since I prefer to continue living my life not being someone’s girlfriend.
The only way I can properly lash out, is by sharing why this whole situation angers me right here in the blog. Naturally, I am inclined to take more of a player-friendly stance in this matter, since the NBA makes a ton of money marketing itself as a player-driven league. Anytime the Los Angeles Lakers and the Miami Heat play, you can best believe they’re selling it as “Kobe Bryant faces off against LeBron James, Dwayne Wade and that other tall fellow, live, this Friday night.”
Just playing, Chris Bosh. Although, I can’t lie, I still watch this press conference clip for a good laugh about once a week, on average.
One one hand, I think it’s cool that the league’s marquee players are setting up exhibition games and going to Europe in order to make money during the lockout. Then, I realized that this is only good for the elite players. The guys who are just barely on the fringe of the NBA or who are already playing in Europe since they couldn’t cut it here are the ones who are going to be hit harder by this. I’ve already heard about guys on international clubs who are being told they might not have a roster spot to go back to, since they’re trying to save room for any NBA guys they can sign during the lockout.
I know it leads most normal people to think that these guys should have had something to fall back on, and in some cases, yes, you’re right. I still can’t help but sympathize with someone who worked hard and sacrificed in pursuit of his hoop dreams, who finally clawed his way onto an NBA roster, only to have the season fade away right in front of him. The league’s superstars might want to consider cutting the lower-tiered players a check or two during the lockout from all these exhibition games and giant international contracts they’re signing, just for the sake of solidarity. I guarantee there are more than a few guys out there sitting at home thinking to themselves “You know what? They could pay me in weed and groupies, and I’d be on the court TOMORROW! This lockout is for the birds!”
Now, as far as the owners, I understand that they want to keep salaries from skyrocketing. That said, I know they’re making more money than they claim they are. None of them are missing any meals, so it’s hard to take their claims seriously, even as attendance has dropped off somewhat. Besides, I blame the owners and front offices for that too! Teams spent the better part of 15 years drafting a ton of guys straight out of high school or after 1 year of college based off their size and “potential.” So when “potential” did not translate into “fundamental basketball skills” owners gambled that these guys could learn on the job. They had to, after investing high draft pick money in them. So naturally, the level of play in the league went down a bit. Not saying the NBA’s product wasn’t good, because it still was; it just wasn’t as good as it used to be.
You know the part that really sucks? Even if they do get an agreement in place and save the season, no one will truly care since it’s already been tainted with the cancelled games and lack of a preseason to get guys in shape and used to the plays. Whichever team wins this year might as well have an asterisk next to it’s name in the history annals with the words “lockout-shortened, half-assed season” underneath in small text. If LeBron James finally gets a championship ring this year, he’ll still get clowned mercilessly by the people he repeatedly pissed off over the past year or so. It won’t count to them. They’ll still yell things at him like “F*ck you, your half-assed NBA title AND your half-assed hairline!”
My fellow basketball fans, with the real possibility of no NBA season happening this year, what are you doing to cope? Will college basketball fill the void? Or are you planning on simply being more productive and consuming less beer if the games won’t be on? I need to start planning my coping mechanism right now.
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“You know what? They could pay me in weed and groupies, and I’d be on the court TOMORROW! This lockout is for the birds!”
lmfao