I don’t know what the Hell was going on in Columbia Heights yesterday evening, but there seemed to be an increased amount of “crazy” in the air. On my way to the gym after work, I crossed Irving Street to go to Washington Sports Club. As I’m crossing, somebody walks past me and intentionally bumps my arm. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt, so my 1st instinct was to check my pockets and make sure this wasn’t some type of pickpocket attempt. Once I did that, I looked at the perpetrator and saw that it was a short, skinny little high school kid. He couldn’t have weighed more than 105 pounds at the most. For a split-second, I thought to myself “I should propel this lil’ bitch ass muhf*cka into oncoming traffic,” but only for a split second.
He looked back to see if I was looking at him, and I was, so he walked over to another dainty little thugglet with a pit-bull puppy. I don’t know what he was trying to prove, but the dog wasn’t even intimidating. I just laughed at them and went upstairs to the gym. I should probably thank that little lightweight troublemaker because I had a really intense workout thinking about the many ways I would have beaten the black off his ass if it had come to that. I need people to pluck my nerves more often on the way to the gym. A couple months of this, and I’m gonna look like High Yellow Superman!
It was on my way back from the gym(and Target) where things truly took a turn for the insane. On a nice evening like yesterday, I probably should have walked home, but I decided to take Metro since I’d just finished whipping those two guys’ asses and stomping out their puppy in my mind while lifting heavy weights. As I’m standing at the bus stop, this girl alerts me to the fact that two disheveled bums were arguing, and one of them had a knife to the other one’s throat. I didn’t see it at first, but I noticed everything when the knife wielder started yelling, threatening to stab the other guy. The girl started calling the police, and I was thinking “OK. I’ll just wait this crazy sh*t out from a distance.”
Almost immediately, the guy who was about to get stabbed runs over past me and talks sh*t to the man with the knife. At that point, my thought process turned to “F*CK!!! This fool is about to get ME stabbed, too!!! I should trip him up for bringing that mess over here, then run away! I’ll just have to cut my losses on the stuff I bought from Target, cause it’s just gonna slow me down…”
Luckily, the crazy knife man stayed focused on his intended target and chased him around some more. I then thought to myself “OK, that was WAY too close for comfort! I’m calling the police. I should tell them he’s chasing a white woman so they’ll get here faster.” I decided against using the white woman lie, but I should have since I the only thing close to a police officer out there before I left was a couple of Target rent-a-cops watching from a safe distance. It pissed me off, because I know for a fact that there are police stations nearby. Plus, they’re quick to show up for petty stuff like a noise complaint or to give you a ticket for something. However, when a man is potentially about to get murdered in front of at least 20 onlookers, MPD was nowhere to be found.
I still don’t know if the knife man got arrested or not. It’s pretty safe to assume the other guy didn’t get stabbed, because it probably would have made the news. However, DC needs to get it’s sh*t together. If law-abiding citizens can’t carry weapons, but crazy people can, that means the police need to do their jobs. Then again, they were probably too busy with other important things, like stuffing their fat faces.
Also, here’s to hoping that things are back to normal today. I would hate to have to deal with dumb sh*t after work, two nights in a row.
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“another dainty little thugglet” (almost peed on myself a little from laughing). Leon… what the hell? I have never heard of ANYONE having so many different types of crazy days!!! LOL! But I’m glad you do cause then you share ‘em, then I laugh till almost potty. Good for the soul. Be careful out there, man!! :-)
It happens to other people, but I just notice things more than folks think. That’s why I always have something funny to say about these type of situations.
LMAO!!!!! You always make me laugh… Your randomness is awesome
Thanks
Lmaooooo! The baby pit was just too funny! I’m glad you didn’t hop out your bag on those dudes! You really do have strange days, seeing as though Columbia Heights is normally sworming with 5-0. Love the pic
“Swarming” too much vodka!
LOL yeah, it’s usually calm over at Columbia Heights. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, obviously.
You literally made me laugh out loud. Hilarious!!