I almost had a chance to meet Arnold Schwarzenegger last week. My day job honored him with an award, and he gave a great speech. I had to give the man credit where it’s due; he worked the crowd. I hope this gives him some good press in light of all the other stuff he’s been dealing with as far as his strong-ass Mexican love child.
Unfortunately, I did not get a chance to personally thank the man. Not for what we honored him for, but for what he did for me personally. Not many people know this, but Arnold gave me my first assist as far as getting laid. Back in the day when I was a virgin, I had this chick over and we started watching “Predator” on VHS. All of the graphic violence scared her so she kept hiding her face in my chest at the bloody parts. At one point I said “you smell good.” Next thing you know we started kissing and clothes started coming off. I literally owe my first time to Arnold Schwarzenegger and a 7 foot tall guy dressed as an alien with dread locs.
I was hoping to personally tell this story to Arnold, but I did not get a chance to. He immediately left the event & flew back to New Mexico to film The Terminator Left His Wallet In El Segundo or some sh*t. Since I did not get the chance to say it last week, thank you Arnold. Your contribution to my sex life is greatly appreciated!
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LMAO @ Terminator left his wallet in El Segundo.
Yeah, they’re running out of Terminator movie title ideas.