First off, Merry Christmas. Second, yes that’s a photo of Clarence Carter. Third, don’t you fix your mouth to besmirch Clarence’s good name. Christmas won’t stop me from stopping by your house and tuning you up real quick, right in front of your tree. Getting your chops busted by a blogger in front of your family is no way to spend a holiday, so just sit tight & enjoy the musical styling of Mr. Carter.
Now that we’ve gotten the obligatory threats of violence and nasty greasy sexual references and out of the way, Merry Christmas folks! I’m spending time with Mom & Grandma, which is always fun. As years go by, Mom is actually behaving more and more like Grandma in certain ways. The most evident display of this is her love of TV talent shows. This past Wednesday Mom called me while I was at my neighbors’ house and this is how the conversation went:
Mom – “I need you to call this number in the next 10 minutes and vote for Melanie!”
Me – “Who in the Hell is Melanie?”
Mom – “She’s a contestant on X-Factor. She’s good! Tell your friends to call and vote, too.”
Me – “Alright.” *sigh*
As much as Grandma brings up reality TV talent shows, she’s never actually called me & asked me to vote for someone before. What’s worse is that I actually felt compelled to call and vote since Mom thought that it was this serious. I got a busy signal when I tried which must mean that a lot of people called in for Melanie and she didn’t need my help. If I get bored later today, I’ll Google her and find out more.
This is what the Holidays are about though; family, loved ones, and random stories like the one above. Oh yeah, there’s Jesus and Santa Claus, too. No offense to my Lord & Savior, or to the fat man who takes all the credit for the presents parents work so hard to provide for their kids. We all know that Jesus died for our sins but Santa serves his purpose too. I don’t even have children but I know that the easiest way to get a child to act right is by saying “You know Santa is watching, and he only gives presents to kids who behave. You want presents, right? Well, then, sit down, shut your fat mouth and do your homework!”
OK, I wouldn’t really tell a child to shut his fat mouth, but I’d definitely use Santa as a tool to make a kid to behave, INSTANTLY. If that sounds evil, it’s because Santa is an anagram for Satan. Once again, blame the fat man.
On that note, I shall bid you all adieu. Merry Christmas! Also, R.I.P. to James Brown. We miss you, Godfather!
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Merry Christmas to you too!
And all the best to you and yours in the New Year to come!
Peace