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I would like to congratulate Morgan Freeman on his upcoming nuptials. A lot of folks are giving him flack for marrying his step granddaughter, and to be honest, it does sound pretty creepy, but he’s been with her for 10 years now. Sure, that means in the early days Freeman’s now fiancee was a 17 year old girl juggling 64 year old balls, but THEY STAYED TOGETHER which has to count for something!
I met a beautiful 19 year old recently, and I felt like I was too old to seriously go there. Freeman, on the other hand, obviously does not share that sentiment. The man has been old since his Electric Company days. I remember posting a baby picture of Morgan Freeman here about a year ago. Let me see if I can find it…
Ahh yes. Here it is!
All old jokes aside, I hope that the couple is happy. Also, I hope that Morgan Freeman someday reads this, and decides to narrate my life story for the price of $FREE-nintey-nine. Imagine the content of my bio page being read by Morgan Freeman? That would be amazing!
This Morgan Freeman stuff reminds me of a bar conversation I overheard between a chubby man who appeared to be at least 50 and his date, who looked barely old enough to legally be in the building. He said to her “I graduated high school before you were born.” I discovered a little later that he owned some other bar in town when he started dropping names of famous people who’d been there. It was at that point I had a moment of clarity: as long as I make some good money and keep myself up, I can realistically continue to f*ck 20 year olds until I’m 80.
I hope that I find a wife so I won’t have to start taking Viagra, or using Just For Men to dye the hair on my crotch to keep young chicks happy. However, if it does come to that, I’m setting aside a separate retirement savings plan to prepare me for such a lifestyle. A Hoe Trust, of sorts. If I do find true love, I’ll never tell her about the Hoe Trust. Instead, I’ll leave it to her in my will, with a note attached that says “Thanks for not making me use this.”
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Just For Men to dye the hair on my crotch to keep young chicks happy. < lordy I can NOT with you!
I’m just saying…Gotta keep it young & refreshing!
A hoe trust?!? LOLOLOL…okay back to my generally serious nature.
I’m setting up meetings with financial advisers to make this happen
LOL @ baby picture. He has been old since… forever. He’s foul for this marriage though. Nasty.
He played kickball with Jesus back in elementary school
Nyasty :( But LMAO @ hoe trust. Are hoe trusts equal opportunity?
Why not? Go ahead and start saving to pay for gigolos in Italian suits combing the hotel bar circuit once you hit old age.