Newt Gingrich post-glitter bombing
Some people are too creative for their own good. Whomever came up with the concept of glitter bombing is an evil genius. Throwing glitter in protest; it’s simple, yet outstanding! To perform an action that’s both disrespectful and sparklingly fabulous is like the Lucky Charms of assault. It’s magically delicious!
Imagine me saying “sparklingly fabulous” with all of the passion and fervor of any male who gets excited to watch any of the “Real Housewives” shows. Trust me, it’s funnier that way.
Seeing the recent glitter bomb attempt on Mitt Romney inspired this entry. The culprit was scurried out of the building so fast that it looked like he was floating through the crowd. I love that the Secret Service was on top of their job and took him down with the quickness. This man is probably still getting questioned and detained all over a hand full of glitter. He tried to throw something at a politician though, so what did he realistically expect the outcome to be? My strong dislike of being shot at and/or beaten would have stopped me from trying to glitter bomb a Presidential candidate. I’d have gone after someone who doesn’t have trained killers surrounding him. Someone like Ryan Seacrest.
Seacrest is actually a bad choice. I have nothing against him. Plus, he’s so glossy that the glitter itself may get caught up in the glow of his aura, thus rendering my strike ineffective.
Just to make my stance on glitter bombing clear: I find the concept itself to be funny, but I am not a fan of the act itself. A person who throws anything at someone else pretty much deserves whatever happens to them next. Besides, glitter takes awhile to come off. Especially stripper glitter. Ask any man who has gotten a lap dance at a strip club. That stuff hangs around like an unpaid bill even after a shower sometimes!
*EDIT* I would like to give credit to my beautiful former neighbor Cherise for enlightening me as to what glitter bombing is. Thanks for giving me one more fact to add to my collection of impressive knowledge of random-ass sh*t.
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