Racial issues have been in the news a lot lately. As a black man, albeit a high-yellow one, I feel it is my duty to enlighten the masses on one particular fact: Black people cannot be racist. Some black folks are definitely prejudiced. Some are hateful. I definitely know a bunch of ignorant ones. All of that said, none of the aforementioned can be considered “racist.” It’s just not possible.
Let me explain my point. The reason black people cannot be racist is because we do not have enough power to be racist. We don’t own enough sh*t. We can’t hold anybody back. Think about it: Who in the Hell are black people really going to oppress? Besides, we’re too busy holding ourselves back to hold back any other group of people. The only “ist” we can afford to be is sexist, and that’s less than half of us statistically. Furthermore, black women on average are making at least as much money as black men, or far more, so even being sexist is pretty pointless for us.
I already know what you’re thinking, so let me address the topic of black people who have “made it.” Sure, we have Diddy, Jay-Z, and …Diddy, but when you think about it, somewhere, there’s a white dude signing their checks. I imagine him smoking a cigar in his chair with a cat on his lap like Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget, saying things like “That’s it Seans! Keep on rapping about your niggas, bitches, drugs and money even though you’re both 40-plus. Tell the kids you’re still hugging the block from your luxury penthouse! My ROC boy and my CIROC boy! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”
I mean, the President is black(and white) but even he has to answer to Congress as well as get passive-aggressively disrespected on a fairly regular basis. The ONE black guy who made it to the top got there and found out that the top isn’t really the top.
To my amazing, and at this point patient, white readers, I love you and thank you for still being here. That said, when you complain about reverse racism I think it’s pretty silly. White people complaining about reverse racism is the equivalent of Donald Trump starting to cry because some homeless man yelled out “You’re a bum!” Donald would absolutely scoff at that fellow. Not only would he scoff at the guy, he’d actually look him in the eye and tell him he’s scoffing at him, like “I scoff at you! Filthy peasant!”
Is that analogy clear enough? I’m sure some of you all get it but the people who need to probably don’t. I’ll assume these are the folks who get upset at the mere mention of race whether or not any real or perceived bias is shown. To them, I say this “reverse racism” nonsense you speak of only has as much power as you choose to give it. Calm down. Walk it off. You’re white; it’s gonna be alright.
That kind of rhymed so it has to be true!
Now before any white folks say “Hey angry yellow black guy, why don’t you just walk off real-deal Holyfield racism since you’re telling us to walk off reverse racism?” let me answer that by saying it’s impossible. The worst thing so-called “reverse racism” can lead to is some street preacher yelling out nonsense as you pass him by on your way to work. Actual racism can get me shot in the chest on my way back from the store to buy a bag of Skittles. In 2012, no less. So once again, the “ism” is more about power attached to the prejudice. Next time you want to call out a black person for something you think is anti-white, please have a valid point to make instead of being lazy and falling back on “that’s reverse racism!” More people will listen to what you have to say. I guarantee it.
I made jokes about this last night at a stand-up open mic to mixed reactions. Most people laughed but some looked visibly uncomfortable. The topic was on my mind thanks to all of the stories about the Trayvon Martin shooting and the fact that his killer is still walking around as a free man. There’s not much I can write about how I feel that hasn’t already been said or written someplace else. I just hope that justice is served although nothing will give that family their son back.
Also, let me re-iterate that I did not write this to offend anyone. Not even Donald Trump or Dr. Claw. I just want people to think about what they are saying and encourage actual dialogue about race as opposed to a some collision of talking points and insults, which is what things usually devolve to on the internet.Tweet