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Five Reasons Why I Have No Problem With the Octomom Doing Smut | Yeah...I said it

Five Reasons Why I Have No Problem With the Octomom Doing Smut

In honor of Wicked Pictures leaking pics from the Nadia “Octomom” Suleman video, I give you 5 reasons why I have no problem with The Octomon making smut. Honestly, you shouldn’t have a problem with it either. Here’s why:

Reason 1: SHE HAS 14 KIDS! Babies gotta eat!

I’m just saying…

Reason 2: Her children will be alright if someone at school teases them about their mother.

If any child is dumb enough to say “I just Googled your momma’s boobies” to one of Suleman’s children, he or she had better be armed. Make fun of one of them, and the kid has 7 brothers and sisters to call in the same grade. That is a like built-in gang! I don’t care how tough you think you are; 8 on 1 = GOT!

Reason 3: She’s doing her “sex” tape the right way.

I put the word “sex” in quotation marks since the Octomom will be pleasuring herself and not having actual intercourse with anyone. This is good, because anyone who would have sex with her on camera is not just a motherf***er, but a motherf***er x 14 when you really think about it.

Reason 4: The Octomom actually did something to earn her notoriety.

In an era where people jump on reality shows or leak their own sex tapes and shop them around in order to become a celebrity or extend their already expired 15 minutes of fame, Nadia Suleman did something no one can lay claim to. This woman gave birth to a litter of children. Not just one kid by some B-list rapper or NBA player; Suleman’s womb did the equivalent of releasing the entire Jackson Five, plus Janet, Rebbie and LaToya. All at once! Say what you want about her poor judgement, but her mighty ovaries are way more impressive than sleeping with a bunch of famous people and writing books about it.

I mean, let’s be real; if Kim Kardashian weren’t hotter than the sun on steroids and hadn’t made a sex tape with Ray -J, no one would even know the names of the rest of her family(Bruce Jenner being the exception). Octomom was getting followed by TMZ well before she got naked on camera. While Octomom may never make anything close to Kardashian money, she did not have to fellate any R&B singers. Not just R&B singers, but Ray J. That has to count for something.

Reason 5: The Octomom looks pretty decent considering her lady parts have already spat out 14 different people.

I’m not saying that the Octomom floats my boat, because she doesn’t. That said, her body is impressive for someone who had 8 kids at once after previously giving birth to 6 more. I expected her figure to look like a Dr. Frankenstein creation, only with more stretch marks. Somehow she’s pulled it together. If I were her, I’d probably pout my fake-ass Angelina Jolie lips and get paid too.

There you have it. Feel free to agree with these reasons, disagree, or provide your own insight below in the comment section.

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Comedian, writer and shake dancer on the Chippendale's Senior Circuit.

4 Responses to “Five Reasons Why I Have No Problem With the Octomom Doing Smut”

  1. Brian Harden 14. Jun, 2012 at 9:37 pm #

    LOL! You’re right, she has to make that dollar! I’m surprised she doesn’t have a reality show already! All these other ass clowns have one!

  2. Shavonn 15. Jun, 2012 at 12:47 pm #

    She already had one LOL

    • ListenToLeon 15. Jun, 2012 at 12:52 pm #

      Oh wow! That reality show must have been horrible, because I was completely unaware of it’s existence!

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