VH1 Has Cornered The Market On “Crazy”


Stevie J Face

This guy was born for reality TV

I finally broke down and watched a Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta marathon on Sunday. No amount of warnings could have prepared me for that spectacle. VH1 has officially cornered the market on “crazy.”

My reasons for watching were simple: I wanted to know what 50% of my Twitter timeline was making jokes about every Monday night. Trying to get caught up in one sitting was physically exhausting. I kept thinking to myself “Don’t these people don’t get tired of calling each other bitches?” That said, the same tension that makes the show ridiculous is also the reason why I can understand it’s popularity. It’s hard not to look at the equivalent of a human train wreck playing out onscreen.

I made quite a few observations during my viewing. Here are some of those thoughts:

  • It’s pretty safe to assume Stevie J has slept with everything with a pulse in the Greater Atlanta area.
  • It’s also a safe bet that Stevie J will not make it through a full episode without telling at least one lie. I’m not talking about a little white lie but a massive, potentially life-altering, traumatic lie.
  • That Joseline chick really does look like Prince. More accurately, a thugged-out version of Prince. Like if Prince walked around carrying a razor blade under his tongue.
  • Lil’ Scrappy’s mother is officially the 3rd scariest person I’ve ever seen on a reality show. The only two ahead of her are the Tossed Salad Man and the angry woman on South Beach Tow.
  • You know a situation is bad when Benzino, the only semi-celebrity to ever attempt to start a Twitter beef with me, is serving as the voice of reason on a program.
  • Why does Stevie J keep squinting his face like he’s eating invisible lemons? I tried to imitate the Stevie J face, but it’s harder than it looks. See below:

An unsuccessful attempt at making the Stevie J face

Now that know what people are making jokes about, I feel as if my Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta viewings are at a good place to come to an end. I’ve seen enough now. I can just read the recaps online and wait for YouTube clips of any more fist fights. I don’t need to invest a full hour of my time  just to see if any paws are being put on anyone. That said, I liked the craziness enough to make it through all of the episodes so I won’t knock the show any further than I already have. To viewers of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta, I’m not judging you!

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6 Responses to “VH1 Has Cornered The Market On “Crazy””

  1. Chris Jones 17. Jul, 2012 at 7:54 am #

    Have to give you props on the attempted stevie j face. All u need is a tough more douche bag to your expression.

  2. Leigh 17. Jul, 2012 at 9:24 am #

    Lol @ ” put dem paws on em”

  3. curlyq 17. Jul, 2012 at 1:53 pm #

    the south beach tow lady is my new hero!

    I’m not big on reality train wrecks so i’ve been lucky enough to never have watched a full episode. tv programs have just gotten so dumbed down – i can barely stand to watch anymore.

  4. DB 17. Jul, 2012 at 4:22 pm #

    The funniest part of the video is when Jerome and Bernice were driving out to the Everglades and the exchange they had ended with Bernice saying “Man, run deez nuts.”

    However she is the third scariest person in that clip. The second scariest is where Robert Jr. was willing to administer a beatdown to Perez with an alligator in the stream. The top scariest was Robert Sr. after finding out Perez was “dating” his daughter.

  5. Wonderlove 19. Jul, 2012 at 12:34 pm #

    The Steeby face lies all in the mouth. Gotta scrunch it up like Leon Jr. gettin’ “serviced”, dig? LOL

  6. Tiffanye 01. Aug, 2012 at 12:28 pm #

    Niggatry…coonery….jackassery. That’s how I sum up L&HH:ATL. I watched only 1 episode of it & I watched it like o_O because I couldn’t believe the isht I was seeing. There’s no way that show is real. Can’t be. All those heffas are crazy & the “men” (and I use that word loosely) are just as bad. We have got to do better…

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