I finally broke down and watched a Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta marathon on Sunday. No amount of warnings could have prepared me for that spectacle. VH1 has officially cornered the market on “crazy.”
My reasons for watching were simple: I wanted to know what 50% of my Twitter timeline was making jokes about every Monday night. Trying to get caught up in one sitting was physically exhausting. I kept thinking to myself “Don’t these people don’t get tired of calling each other bitches?” That said, the same tension that makes the show ridiculous is also the reason why I can understand it’s popularity. It’s hard not to look at the equivalent of a human train wreck playing out onscreen.
I made quite a few observations during my viewing. Here are some of those thoughts:
- It’s pretty safe to assume Stevie J has slept with everything with a pulse in the Greater Atlanta area.
- It’s also a safe bet that Stevie J will not make it through a full episode without telling at least one lie. I’m not talking about a little white lie but a massive, potentially life-altering, traumatic lie.
- That Joseline chick really does look like Prince. More accurately, a thugged-out version of Prince. Like if Prince walked around carrying a razor blade under his tongue.
- Lil’ Scrappy’s mother is officially the 3rd scariest person I’ve ever seen on a reality show. The only two ahead of her are the Tossed Salad Man and the angry woman on South Beach Tow.
- You know a situation is bad when Benzino, the only semi-celebrity to ever attempt to start a Twitter beef with me, is serving as the voice of reason on a program.
- Why does Stevie J keep squinting his face like he’s eating invisible lemons? I tried to imitate the Stevie J face, but it’s harder than it looks. See below:
Now that know what people are making jokes about, I feel as if my Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta viewings are at a good place to come to an end. I’ve seen enough now. I can just read the recaps online and wait for YouTube clips of any more fist fights. I don’t need to invest a full hour of my time just to see if any paws are being put on anyone. That said, I liked the craziness enough to make it through all of the episodes so I won’t knock the show any further than I already have. To viewers of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta, I’m not judging you!Tweet