Gabrielle “Gabby” Douglas became the first African-American to win a gold medal in women’s all-around gymnastics yesterday. At the risk of sounding sentimental, I have to admit that it inspired me. This young girl waited her entire life for that moment and once it arrived she rose to the occasion. Plus, she did not just rise; she rose, flipped through the air a million times, and perfectly landed on her feet with an expression on her face that said “It’s just another Thursday and you know, this is what I do.”
Of all the many amazing physical feats that I’ve performed, even becoming a three-time Ghettoweight Champion of the World in slap-boxing, the one thing I always wished I could do was a backflip. If I invest in a giant room full of mats or a trampoline someday, maybe I’ll get there. Alas, I am a lowly comedian with a real fear of breaking my neck attempting something like that, so it will have to wait until I have a giant rec-room and better medical coverage.
Gabrielle Douglas is not the only Olympic pioneer out there. Speaking of trampolines, Deon Cole, comedian and writer for Conan O’Brien, decided to conquer the trampoline so that there can be one more addition to the “Black Firsts” list. The last time a Black man attempted to take on competitive trampoline, we weren’t even Black yet. We were still Negroes. That’s how long it’s been. Below, I’ve embedded footage of Cole’s valiant effort.
In honor of Gabby Douglas’ Olympic accomplishment and Deon Cole’s comedic one, I congratulate both of you. I am retired from professional slap-boxing, but I am training for the day that joning becomes an Olympic sport. Should that ever happen, Michael Phelps’ medal record is in serious jeopardy!
Oh yeah, if you’re reading this, hi Dominique Dawes. *waving*Tweet