I borrowed lotion from someone yesterday. Six hours after application, I realized that there were tiny glitter sparkles in the stuff. I walked around town oblivious and shimmering for the bulk of the day. All I wanted to do was avoid being ashy, but I went from ashy to flashy in a very non-masculine way as a result.
Oh yeah. Light skinned people get ashy too. You have to look a little harder to see it, but trust me, it’s happens.
There should be a warning from friends and loved ones to let you know what you’re getting into when you use their lotion. Anyone who truly cares would have told me in these exact words: “Just so you know, this stuff will make you both look and feel dainty, delicate and fragile. At the same damn time.”
Having glitter in random places like this reminds me of some of my past strip club trips. Stripper glitter is one the hardest substances to remove from one’s body. You could take three showers and still discover places where that stuff is still attached to you, all from one five minute lap dance. I think stripper glitter is made that way on purpose. It is a way of branding you after you’ve acted up, just in case you are married or something.
You can’t even do normal things with stripper glitter on you. For instance, try going to church the next day after leaving a gentleman’s establishment. Everyone in there knows where that gleam on your neck and forearms came from. They may lie and claim that they know it from their backsliding days, but they all know it. What’s worse is that the reverend will call you out in front of the whole congregation like “Brother Leon, I see you shining! Look at you; You can’t even tithe properly. You done gave all your money to some chick named Euphoria with a fake butt. You know you’re supposed to be tipping the Lord first and foremost!”
Basically, the moral of this story is to ask questions before putting on someone else’s lotion, even if you are already ashy in public. I guess you can say that the other moral is to avoid stripper glitter at all costs, but that one is no fun, therefore I am not going to tell you to do it. Just be aware that you will be haunted by the ghost of lap dance past for at least a day or two in the form of random glitter sparkles on your person should you engage in such activity.Tweet