Warning: Missing argument 2 for wpdb::prepare(), called in /home/listento/public_html/wp/wp-content/themes/canvas/functions/admin-functions.php on line 938 and defined in /home/listento/public_html/wp/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 1147
Bio | Yeah...I said it

Bio

Leon Scott is a stand-up comedian, graphic/web designer, writer, and the creator of the award-winning humor blog ListenToLeon.net. Observational gems are Leon’s specialty. Leon has previously served as a humor columnist for King Magazine, Black Web 2.0, along with a host of other publications. Leon performs comedy on a regular basis and writes amazingly hilarious bios about himself in the 3rd person. If you don’t believe him, take a look below:

The ListenToLeon Story

Leon, founder of ListenToLeon.net, was born on December 1st in the small town of Fredericksburg, VA. December 1st also happens to be the day that Richard Pryor, Woody Allen and Bette Midler were born, so it’s only natural that Leon possesses an extraordinary sense of humor.

A gifted athlete, Leon was the neighborhood slapboxing legend, known to literally slap people into next week. That is not just an expression. Leon slapped a man once, and he literally disappeared. One week later to the day, the poor fellow fell down from apparently out of nowhere, with a red handprint on his cheek and no recollection of where he’d been the entire time that he was gone.

shookuptheworld.jpg

Quickly rising through the ranks of the amateur slapboxing circuit, Leon knew it was time to go pro. He went on have a stellar professional career, culminating with his commanding victory over Julio Cesar DeMarco Nacho-Comacho(who just to happens to look a LOT like Sonny Liston in that picture), which made him the Undisputed Ghettoweight Champion of the EARFF.

Leon retired undefeated with a 39-0 record, including an impressive 36 wins via b*tch-slap.

After accidentally blinding an opponent in one eye with his pinky finger, Leon felt compelled to do something positive to balance out the negative karma of his mighty pimp hand. That is when he felt the calling to become a motivational speaker. Unfortunately, his series of low-budget audio cassettes, titled “Motherf*cker Get Your Sh*t Together!” did not sell very many copies.

Leon went into a period of financial debt. Times were hard on the boulevard, and Leon’s financial situation forced him to fall back on his irresistible charm. It was then that Leon became a Black Gigolo living on the French Riviera. There, he was known as TheFonsono: Master Cocksman and Expert Poon Handler. Armed with formidable gifts *looking down* and a way with words, Leon provided many nights of pleasurable pleasures to lonely, wealthy French maidens.

fabio-cover.jpg

Leon was the fairest pimp in all the land! Just as it seemed that he was living the dream, Leon awoke one morning in a strange bedroom butt naked with three $100 bills stuck to his forehead, a bacon & egg sandwich waiting on the dresser, and “MAN THOT” tattooed across his stomach. It was at that point that Leon realized he’d hit rock-bottom. After many laser removal surgeries and therapy sessions, Leon realized it was time to come back strong. He went in the studio and recorded his debut album, “Dry-Humping On Yo’ Momma’s Couch.”

guitarman.jpg

The album included covers of hit songs by artists like Billy Ocean, Trick Daddy, Peter Cetera, Oran “Juice” Jones, Rick Astley, as well as a few original numbers. Ladies wanted to be with him. Men wanted to be him. Leon had reached International Sex Symbol status. The man was Hasselhoff big in Germany! He’d step off the plane to chants of “Black Fabio! Black Fabio! “

Those were crazy times indeed. The life of a nasty R&B singer gave Leon access to excess. There was hard-drinking…

maltliquor.gif

There were many, many, MANY women…

2women.jpg

Most of these stories had to be omitted from this bio because the statute of limitations has not yet passed. Not since the late, great Rick James had the world seen such an unrelenting assault of pure unadulterated grown-man machismo unleashed in such abundance! No one’s lady was safe!

kiss.jpg

Right now, that new girlfriend of yours is probably old news to Leon thanks to the many wild parties he threw during this period in his life.

Never one to rest on his laurels, Leon soon decided that it was time to make a positive difference in the world. He took it upon himself to make the Earth a better place one person at a time through laughter. Hence the creation of his online movement, www.ListenToLeon.net.

vivehustle_small.jpg

ListenToLeon.net has sense served the public as an outlet for laughter and an escape from the trials and stresses of everyday life. This is more than just a website…It’s a COMEDY REVOLUTION!

Vive le ListenToLeon!