…It looks like body paint. …You can see my heart beating in it. People can read my pulse from across the room. …I look like the Dominican Incredible Hulk. ….I look like some kind of traveling stripper. Like I’m going to arrive at a bachelorette party, rip it open and say “Ladies, it’s time to [...]
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Go Ahead and Laugh If You WANT TO…
…but don’t call me when Chuck comes to your house and whips your ass! A Chuck Norris ass whipping is a fate worse than death, or so I’m told… P.S. Mr. Norris, sir…If you happen to read this, I am NOT the one responsible for making this Photoshop image of you in an Aretha Franklin [...]
Cousin T, Bout To Make You Famous
Today’s entry serves TWO purposes. Purpose number 1: To show the world that unbelievably high amounts of swagger run in my family. I’m not the only one with that certain savior faire. That je nais se pais(or however you spell it). Balls the size of Mt. Everest. That aura of greatness is HEREDITARY! You can’t [...]
Hood-Safe Apparel
I love my momma to death, but I don’t know if I can forgive her for dressing me up like this when I was a baby… What in the hell possessed her to put me in that Black/Puerto Rican Buddy Lee outfit?!? I’m still kinda bitter that this Kermit The Fag looking photo even exists. [...]
Not My White Shirt :(
This morning, a fat person in a black top competely ruined my white short-sleeve shirt. I really try to be sensitive when I refer to the overweight and their issues, but this time, a fat motherfucker crossed the line.* I was already kind of in a sour mood this morning upon finding out that Metrobus [...]
My Shirt Is Too Big
I wish I noticed this shit before I left the house this morning. One of my favorite dress shirts is actually too big for me to wear like a dress shirt. Before today, I had only worn this particular shirt untucked with jeans, which received numerous compliments and kudos…Unfourtunately, I cannot wear it as the [...]
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