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Mutombo Elbow of Death

by on 14. May, 2008 in Angry, DC, Metro, Violence, Women

I did a bad thing on the train this morning. While on the Gallery Place/Chinatown station platform, I stood in a crowd, glancing down at the Washington Post Express newspaper. I saw that they quoted Arjewtino, which made me smile. Yesterday, they quoted AllieNicole, so obviously, it is a sign that I am among the [...]

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I Still Hear You

by on 18. Mar, 2008 in Angry, Child, iPod, Metro

You all asked for more Metro-inspired madness, and now, you’ve got it. This weekend, I noticed something: iPod use on the subway system is a double-edged sword.     Tweet

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The Anticipation of Target Shopping

by on 06. Mar, 2008 in Columbia Heights, DC, Metro, Target

Earlier, someone told me that the new Target on 14th Street is now open. Upon hearing this news, I couldn’t even contain my joy. I smiled like a schoolgirl at a Hannah Montana show.     Tweet

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Two Empty Seats At Rush Hour

by on 17. Dec, 2007 in Fine Sh*terature, Greatest Hits, Metro, Seat, Stank, The INS

I just might be a little paranoid. I came to this realization on the metro train this morning on my way to work. I got on the infamous Green Line, and saw that there were not one, but two empty seats available, right near me. Upon viewing the empty seats nearby during rush hour, my [...]

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Delusions of Grandeur

by on 16. Nov, 2007 in Angry, Hell, King Kong Bundy, Metro, Nightcrawler, Sasquatch, Ugly, Underground Railroad, Women

I have made a conscious effort these past few months to avoid calling people “ugly.” There actually are some very wonderful human beings on this Earth who just happened to end up getting the short end of the stick genetically. For that reason, I have tried to slow down when it comes to making fun [...]

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Someone Else Got Harassed on the Train for Once

by on 19. Oct, 2007 in Crazy, Metro, Sunday Source, Swagger, Washington Post, Yoga

For once, a crazy person at the metro station chose someone other than me to harass. Usually, when a crazy person is on the train, I end up being the person he or she tries to speak to. This time, the victims were the man sitting on the same bench as me and his female companion. Tweet

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Snaggle Tooth Sammy

Snaggle Tooth Sammy

by on 27. Sep, 2007 in Fight, Kimbo, Metro, Soulja Boy, Youtube

It’s been awhile since I’ve been inspired to write about any crazy experiences while riding the Metro. I guess the word got out to most of the mentally insane and/or smelly people in the city that I tend make people famous when they mess with me. Apparently, one near-toothless passenger on the car I was [...]

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