Apparently, my reputation precedes me. I was sort of thrown off when it came time for me to speak on NPR this afternoon. Right after they announced my name and website, a producer got on my headphones and made it a point to say “Remember, DON’T CURSE.” Apparently, someone at NPR took a look at [...]
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Crocs Are The Ugliest Shoes On Earth
Yeah. I said it. I would not be caught dead in a pair of Crocs. If I should happen to die tomorrow, and the mortician tries to slide a pair of those ugly, foamy, gummy, bright swiss cheese shoes on my feet, my corpse will rise up and slap the bejeesus out of him. My hatred [...]
Someone Had Sex With Her! TWICE!
Maybe I’m just a messed up individual for having this thought…I’ll let you be the judge. Yesterday, I saw a woman who was very “aesthetically-challenged.” Imagine Mr. T with his beard shaved and a perm, and you’ve got a mental picture of this lady. She was one of those people who looked so rough, that [...]
You Looked So Much Cuter From A Distance
This past Saturday, I made a trip to the bank. As I was walking over to the line, I noticed that the lady who was two people ahead of me had a really nice body. She was a silhouette of perfection. Perfection with a bad weave, that is, but I’ll let that slide for the [...]
Natural Selection: Ugly People Are Fucked.
It’s a plain fact of life. Pretty people get more chances to succeed. Think about it…how many times have you seen a bum and been like “Damn that dirty stankin’ bummy motherfucker is fine”? Now I know that a lot of the world’s best, brightest, and richest people are not what most would call attractive. [...]
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