An inadvertent fire alarm just went off in the office. Although I knew it wasn’t a real fire, I thought to myself “the last place I want to die, is at work.” So I’m on my way outside to enjoy the sunshine for a bit…I mean, escape the raging flames that just might consume the [...]
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Springtime Attire
I love the Spring, for the simple fact that you can look at the outfits certain women have on and know that they’re headed to happy hour IMMEDIATELY after work! Do not pass “Go.” Do not collect $200. Proceed directly to the drinks! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. You will never hear me [...]
I Know Your Day Sucks, But Could You Keep It Down Please?
It’s settled. I am a jackass. Today at lunch, I decided to eat in the park because the weather was beautiful. Food, nice weather…I was officially in my happy place. While I sat on a bench just smiling and loving life, this young lady came and sat down on the bench right next to mine. [...]
Kegel Exercises FTW!
How do you top writing your name in the snow in pee? There’s only one way: by creating performance art! I used my creative gifts as well as my oh-so-formidable anatomical ones to attempt to make a smiley face on Thursday night. Although it’s not perfect, you have to be impressed by the stop-start action [...]
It’s Snowing In DC
Yes that’s my name. Yes, I whipped out my d*ck and pee-wrote it in the fresh snow. No, I do not give a damn. Don’t judge me! I just hope that it keeps on snowing, because I did that right in front of my neighbor’s garage. The worst part is that you can follow my [...]
I’m Shivering
The nice weather this weekend must have been a tease, because today feels like a chilly slap of reality across the face! I went outside for like 5 minutes, and I’m back indoors literally shivering as I work to warm up my body! The sad thing is, it’s not really “cold” weather right now, but [...]
Everybody Loves The Sunshine
It has been an up and down kind of week for me, but on sunny days like today, it’s hard to not smile when you walk outside. I decided to put something nice, relaxing and pimpish up there for y’all to listen to, so enjoy it. Everybody loves the sunshine! Tweet
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