“Pretty Ricky What They Call ‘Em”

The world has gone crazy and greasy R&B group Pretty Ricky is proof of this. I’m not one to knock another man’s hustle, but years ago when I first heard there was a group called “Pretty Ricky” on the scene, I said “You can’t be serious. That sounds real…not straight.”

Then I saw a music video with these skinny sons of bitches on BET dancing around in oil looking like some strippers. I made jokes of course, but I couldn’t laugh at the fact that their songs were very popular amongst the 106th and Park viewing audience. Apparently, Pretty Ricky made it cool for teenage boys to look borderline fruity. I blame them for every bitch-ass male trend that took off from there, whether they were actually responsible for it or not. White sun-shades, girly scarves, skinny nut-hugger jeans, v-necks that plunge so low you have to wear double-sided titty tape to keep ‘em on…all of that shit.     Read the rest of this entry »

Gotta Love Artistic Expression

Saw this on Twitter. Tiger Woods and his wayward d*ck have inspired people to high art! This is a pretty impressive illustration. If anybody knows who did the original, please tell me so I can link to his or her site.

I Don’t Want To Hear Your Life Story

I hate it when quasi-homeless people try to befriend me or tell me a story before asking for money. CUT TO THE DAMNED CHASE! It’s the holidays, so I might be a little more inclined to help the less-fortunate than usual, but trust me, someone’s unsolicited sob story does not factor into my decision at all.

If any pan-handlers are in a library reading this on a free computer right now, here are a few things to think about when approaching people: Read the rest of this entry »

Ed Lover’s C’Mon Son Shirt

A few months ago,  I was set to begin a video series over here called “Shut ‘Cho Ponk Ass Up.” The first episode was about the dude that yelled out “YOU LIE” to President Obama during the State of the Union Address, but right after I recorded my video of drunken rants, Ed Lover released the 1st C’mon Son before I could even edit my own clip.

Needless to say, it was back to the drawing board for me! C’mon Son achieved exactly what I was going for, just…funnier. I’m working on something else right now, so hopefully I won’t get out-shined by any more celebrities this time around!

On a side note, I really want one of these shirts! Somebody might get one as a Christmas gift or something.

Tiger Woods’ Wife Went Carrie Underwood on That Ass?

It is a must that I comment on the Tiger Woods incident. After all, this is a comedy site. The facts are unclear at the moment, but the more the news reports this story, the more it looks like Elin Woods went Carrie Underwood on her husband, our beloved “Cablinasian” golf sensation after rumors of infidelity began to spread. Part of me REALLY wants to find out if Tiger got his ass whipped by his wife, Lionel Richie style. The other part wants this story to go away, because it’s really nobody’s business but Tiger and Elin Woods.

To me, the worst part about this story is the police involvement. The fact that they are going through this much trouble to investigate a 1-person car accident involving no drugs/alcohol and where no one was critically hurt, says one of two things. Either:

1. These cops really don’t have shit better to do with their time, or
2. Someone is trying to dig up some dirt so they can sell it to TMZ and get PAID!

Read the rest of this entry »

I Successfully Quit Drinking Soft Drinks

My plan to stop drinking soft drinks has succeeded! I went through a few minor challenges over the course of this soda-free month, but nothing could stop me. My willpower is way too strong! That’s right Pepsi, my will just bitch slapped you AND your little punk ass friend Coke, then took your lunch money! Keep on… The will just might snatch your jewelry and make you pay to get it back!

Below, I’ve outlined a few of the challenges, and how I came to the realization that I’m completely over soft drinks.    Read the rest of this entry »

Thank You Everybody

It’s a day after Thanksgiving, and I know that most of you are either slowly emerging from turkey-induced comas, or in the middle of furious Black Sunday shopping. If I may, I’d like to deliver a quick message to you all:

Thank you.

Yes, thank you for supporting me, reading my site, encouraging me, inspiring me, giving me honest criticism, and telling others about ListenToLeon.net. I would have stopped writing this site a long time ago if I thought no one was amused by it. Thankfully, the love you readers have shown keeps me going, and makes me push myself to become better.     Read the rest of this entry »