I <3 My New Motorola Cliq

My camera & phone have been found! There are still good, honest people left in this world, and I am very thankful for it. To the good folks at Liv who recovered my phone, and to Cherisse for calling and arranging the pickup, I sincerely thank you. I have no idea how my stuff ended up on the middle of the dance floor that night since I didn’t venture out there, but everything is accounted for so I’m not asking questions.

The only problem is, I’d already bought a new phone and canceled my SIM card. I thought to myself “Maybe I can return this Motorola Cliq, and keep using my old one.”

Then I actually used the Cliq. After that, my thoughts became “I AM DEFINITELY KEEPING THIS PHONE!” I haven’t even figured out half the stuff on this phone yet, but so far, I love it. Seriously, if I ever meet a woman with this many attractive features and amazing abilities, I’m going to get her pregnant and marry her. Probably in that order.

Once again, thanks to those who helped me recover my stuff. Since I have the camera back, I’ll be posting video from the Little Dragon show, albeit a few days late. Also, to Motorola, T-Mobile and Google, you are all welcome for this free product testimonial.

Club Comedy and Concert Phone Theft

I’ve had quite an up-and-down weekend to say the least. I went from hanging out with corporate big wigs on Friday, to seeing one of the funniest sights I’ve ever seen in a nightclub on Saturday, to finally getting my camera and cell phone stolen at a Little Dragon concert last night. As you can probably tell, I’ve experienced every emotion from euphoria to bloodthirsty rage over the course of these three days. Right now, I’m somewhere in between frustration over the lost camera and phone numbers, and optimism that these things can be replaced at some point. I no longer want to smack fire out of complete strangers, so I’m making progress in the right direction…

You guys are going to serve as my therapists today, and read as I break down the events of this past weekend. I hope you enjoy it, but more importantly, I hope I feel better after venting.     Read the rest of this entry »

Matthew Lesko Is In The Building!

Thursday, I met Matthew Lesko, infomercial king and the only man on Earth with more question marks on his clothes than The Riddler. As you can clearly see, this guy is a walking photo op waiting to happen. My picture isn’t quite as funny as the one comedian Seaton Smith took with Lesko and DC Councilman Jim Graham, but it still kicks ass. Enjoy!

Adopting an Alley Cat

The photo above is Thunderpussy, my unofficial pet alley cat. As many of you who follow me on Twitter are aware, Thunderpussy has been hanging out around my house on a regular basis. At first, I didn’t like her, because she went into heat and woke me up in the middle of the night. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard what cats in heat sound like, but just in case, I made a video so you can understand my plight:

The mumbling at the end was me, threatening to throw water on her for waking me up with that foolishness. Read the rest of this entry »

Please Don’t Shoot Me! Signed, The Messenger

Ever have someone ask you to pass along a message to someone else, without telling you the entire story behind it? So when you deliver the news, that person reacts by frowning his or her face up and saying something like “JESUS! THIS IS GREAT…JUST GREAT! MY DAY IS RUINED NOW!”

I hate getting tricked into becoming the bearer of bad news. It’s like being legal process server, except you’re not even getting paid for it. To have someone look at you like you just threatened to sue them and teabag their mother, especially over something you had nothing to do with in the first place, really sucks. I propose we band together as a nation, and put a stop to it right now.  Read the rest of this entry »

What In The Samurai Mr. Bentley F*CK!

Saw this photo on Facebook, and I still don’t know what the hell is going on. I’m not sure if I WANT to know! Whatever the case, it made me laugh, so I’m sharing it with you.

Guest Blogging @ AwesomelyLuvvie Today

Make sure you all check out my guest post over on Luvvie’s blog today. What I wrote, just might change your life. If not, it’ll at least make you laugh. That much, I guarantee!