Calling All Nerds, Geniuses and People With Free Time In The Middle of the Day

I just found out about a contest that Best Buy is having at Union Station today, that I would be ALL OVER if I had more time and less responsibilities. It’s called Brain Playground Day, and they’re giving away $46,000 to the person who comes in 1st after a series of games to test your overall braininess and geek-savvy. These are the challenges:

1. Mindflex – complete a lap around the “mind track” using brain power to control the ball
2. Face-off Tetris – experience Tetris 360 – for Tetris game play on all four sides
3. Rubik’s Touchcube – race to match one side of a Rubik’s TouchCube to a randomly drawn color card in less than 2 minutes
4. Sony Reader Riddler – answer ten brutal brainteasers hidden inside a Sony Reader
5. Livescribe Translator Pen – translate randomly selected words into randomly selected languages

My inner Cliff Claven from “Cheers” is going crazy right now. I am a well of random, useless information, so this is right up my alley. However, it starts at 11:30, so I’m cutting it way too close. However, if any of you out there is out of work on the couch watching Maury right now, or looking for an excuse to sneak away from the office for a bit, then I highly encourage you to get up and head to Union Station. RIGHT NOW!! CHOP-CHOP!! HAUL ASS!! GET ‘TO GOING!!

If any of you goes and wins, let me know. I promise not to ask you for any of your newly-won money!

The Not Actually Gay, But Very Gay-Looking Workout

The Shake Weight, a.k.a. the “Theoretically, you can get muscles from jerking off” machine. I wouldn’t want to use this thing, because it could lead to disaster. Suppose it’s a late night and your lady is too tired to give you any. You sneak off into the bathroom to rub one out, but since you no longer know your own strength thanks to your Shake Weight workouts, you accidentally rip your d*ck clean off. How do you explain that to ANYONE?

All silly scenarios aside, I had to make fun of this commercial after it was sent to me via Twitter. It was easily the most unintentionally homo-erotic commercial I’ve seen in a long time!

John Allen Muhammad Was Executed. Bye!

John Allen Muhammad a.k.a. the DC Sniper, was executed tonight by lethal injection. I’m not a huge advocate for or against the death penalty, because I have mixed feelings about it. However, if any one person deserved capital punishment, it was THAT motherf*cker right there!

I remember when the sniper rampage was going on out here. I was working at The Washington Times in the advertising department. It’s the only job of my adult life that I’ve ever hated. It was so bad, that I would wait for everyone else to leave the office, then go to other people’s computers and write anonymous letters to the editor about the f*cked up, tasteless, ultra-conservative stuff they’d publish in that day’s paper.     Read the rest of this entry »

Halloween Strikes Back! John Blackenroe

Saturday night, I went to a post-Halloween costume party, and since I didn’t feel like rocking the Jimi Hendrix costume once again, I decided to use my Black McGuyver resoursefulness and come up with a costume on the fly. The result: John BLACKenroe, Tennis Superstar!     Read the rest of this entry »

Google Made Me Smile Today

Google’s tribute to the 40th Anniversary of Sesame Street featuring Bert and Ernie made me smile. Who says giant companies bordering on monopolies have to be cold and heartless? Anyone with an appreciation for Ernie is alright with me! Bert was a bit of a cone headed player hater, but Ernie was full of orange-faced joy and wonder. When I was little, I used to know the Rubber Ducky song by heart, and sing it when it was time to take a bath.  I still might sing it for the right amount of money, dignity be damned!

The only curve ball that Sesame Street ever tried to throw at me was when people started debating whether Bert and Ernie were gay, or if it was just a bromance. I mean, it made perfect sense since it was two dudes living together in a 1 bedroom apartment, dressed in snazzy little striped sweaters. I’m not sure if “snazzy little striped sweaters” is an actual gay stereotype, but it does not sound straight, so I’ll just go with it. Either way, the debate taught a valuable lesson about tolerance, since Ernie was no less kick-ass when people insinuated that Bert is not just his friend, but his life partner.    Read the rest of this entry »

I Gave Up Soft Drinks: Day 3

A few days ago, I read an article that reconfirmed what I already knew to be true: Soft drinks are bad for me. “Soda”, “pop”, or whatever it’s called where you’re from, is literally going to be the death of me if I don’t get my act together! I like having teeth in my mouth and a functioning heart, so I’m going to make an honest attempt to see how long I can go without drinking anymore soft drinks. I am currently on Day 3, and I will chronicle my journey for you all over here on the blog. You guys out there in Internet Land will be my support system, whether you like it or not.

What?! You don’t like it?! Then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! I’d like to see you try to stop me, bitch!

Sorry…my lack of sweet, sweet, bubbly sugar-water caffeine has made me a tad bit irritable. Didn’t mean to lash out like that…but what’s done is done. Get over it, and help me fight the good fight! Last time I tried to do this, I only made it to about noon on Day 3. I have officially made it further along this go-round, so congratulate me or something! Either way, I’m gonna see just how bad this addiction really is. Aside from falling asleep a little earlier at night and drinking more water than I ever have in my life, I haven’t noticed much of a difference just yet.

A Couple of Days Late With This Mixtape

I know I’m a few days late with this one, but I have to share it, since it’s been in heavy rotation on my laptop and iPod for the past couple of days. Zo!, one-half of the collaborating team behind the Zo! and Tiggalo Love the 80’s album(and jheri-curled album art) is back with a free mixtape/EP/whatever you want to call it, titled …Just Visiting Too. It’s nice. REALLY nice! Pretty much the entire team of collaborators from The Foreign Exchange’s last album was involved in this, so you already know to expect good things.

Here’s the download link. I love the fact that there’s a quality remake of one of my favorite old school songs, Nights Over Egypt. Also, you can’t go wrong redoing Bobby Caldwell hits. There is a nice version of “My Flame” on there, the song that was sampled in The Notorious B.I.G.’s “Sky Is the Limit.”

“While n*ggas flirt, I’m sewing tigers on my shirt, and alligators. You wanna see the inside? I’ll see you later! Here comes the drama. ‘Oh! That’s the n*gga with the fake! POW! Why they punch me in my face? Stay in your place!”

Sorry about that. Had a Biggie flashback moment.      Read the rest of this entry »