This Black History Month, not only am I going to learn about the past contributions of African Americans, I’m going to MAKE some Black History of my own! I’m not sure what I can do in 28 days to get myself listed in the history books, but damn it, I’m resourceful. I’ll figure out something!
Below is a list of 5 things I can do to make Black History in 28 days. Read the rest of this entry »
Caressa Cameron, the new Miss America is originally from my hometown of Fredericksburg, VA. I’m really happy to hear that! I can now say “the home of Miss America” when people ask me about where I’m from, instead of “50 miles south of D.C. and 50 miles north of Richmond, but not nearly as fun as either city.” Read the rest of this entry »
What the Hell is going on with Gary Coleman these days?! First he beats up Scottie Pippen with a gang of little people, now this?! That mugshot is one of the most horrible of all-time. It’s easily up there with Nick Nolte, James Brown and Allen Iverson. It’s not as scary as whoever this guy is, but still…This is pretty damned bad!
The picture above does not say “Whatchu’ talkin’ bout, Willis?” It’s more like “Willis, I am gonna murder the f*ck out of you! Don’t go to sleep!“ Read the rest of this entry »
In the wake of this ridiculous new whites-only basketball league being formed, here are some suggestions of new leagues that would actually make money and be entertaining to watch. The dummy behind this idea should have invested his cash in one of these ideas instead:
The Under 6 Foot Tall Basketball Association – If this existed when I was younger, I would have been all over it. I’d probably still be playing today. I’d be viewed as something like the Karl Malone of the vertically challenged! Alas, it does not exist, and my hoop dreams died when I stopped growing taller around 8th or 9th grade.
Segway-Snuggie-Croc-Nunchuck Basketball – This is kind of like roller derby, but way more kick-ass! It’s a regular basketball game, except the players wear helmets, snuggies over their uniforms and crocs on their feet. There are also two nunchuck wielding segway drivers on each team, clubbing the Hell out of people like gladiators on chariots while leading 35 mph fast-breaks. Sure it’s violent and dangerous…but it has four built-in sponsors: the makers of Segways, the Satanic cult that likely created Snuggies, the evil scientists behind Crocs and the National Nunchuck Enthusiast Foundation.
Prison Yard Games – Talk about your reality TV…This is as real as it gets! When fouls are not called for fear of potentially getting ass-raped after the game, it adds a certain level of intensity to the proceedings.
SNACKSketball – A series of fat people playing one-on-one games to 10, where the winner gets free meals at the restaurant of his or her choice for a week. The loser has to come to the restaurant each day, then sit there and watch the winner eat while handcuffed to a chair. Sure it’s exploitation, but it’s no worse than the racist crap the whites only basketball league is already trying to pull.
If any of you are trying to invest in one of the leagues I thought of, let me know. Let’s get this money!!!
My bank card was stolen on Friday night. Usually, that’s not a laughing matter, but I have to give it to whoever the thief was: he or she had one hell of a night with it!
Once I realized my card was gone, I did some research and made a few phone calls. My findings were that someone ran up a $122 tab that night at some restaurant or bar in DC(most likely the Adams Morgan area). I then logged off the internet, and logged on the nigga-net, to ask a few questions.
I have come to these conclusions about the thief: Read the rest of this entry »
I usually don’t post stuff like this, since my site is comedic in nature. Still, the human suffering in Haiti has been on my mind every day since the earthquake hit. On one hand, it’s great to see this kid being rescued after 7 days trapped beneath a building. On the other hand, it makes you think about how many other people weren’t so lucky. It’s hard to even say the word “lucky” when you consider that kid has been trapped for days, but I guess when you think about the alternative, the term definitely applies.
I just felt like I should write something about what’s going on over there, since I haven’t. My prayers are still with the people of Haiti and their families.
My refrigerator is decorated with Obama and ass. Click here if you don’t believe me(slightly NSFW). I live down the street from a strip club, so booty fliers get littered throughout the neighborhood. Since unsolicited ass is literally being littered about, why not be creative with it? This was not my original idea, but I think that I have taken the seedy strip club flier torch, and run with it quite impressively! Read the rest of this entry »
