Apparently, Detective Baylor does! Today in DC, an off-duty police officer decided to break up a snowball fight, BY PULLING OUT HIS GUN! Can you say “anger management” people? How about “overreaction?” Or “asshole” maybe? Read the rest of this entry »
Yes that’s my name. Yes, I whipped out my d*ck and pee-wrote it in the fresh snow. No, I do not give a damn. Don’t judge me!
I just hope that it keeps on snowing, because I did that right in front of my neighbor’s garage. The worst part is that you can follow my footsteps from there, all the way to my front door. Hopefully, the my urine calligraphy will be covered in snow by the time they wake up.
Dah well…’Tis the season! “Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!”
DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico
Gotta love The Onion!
Am I the only person who hasn’t already figured out a plan for New Year’s Eve? I need to get on that right away, before I end up spending an arm and a leg at some random nightclub packed with a whole lot of other last minute, play it by ear mofos…
Have you ever encountered someone so smelly, so rank, so musty…that his/her smell lingers on long after they’ve left? That happened to me yesterday. I performed a little stand up at Looking Glass Lounge, and after my set, this drunk dude came up to me to talk about comedy. He insisted that he had the funniest story on Earth to tell me. This “story” turned out to be a very pointless, incoherent and unfunny play-by-play description of an episode of Blind Date.
The crappy story that wasn’t a story did not bother me. What upset me was the foul smell coming from this guy. It was like dirt, dried sweat, outdoors, foot and ass, coming together like Voltron. If anybody doubts that I’m a nice person, the fact that I actually listened to this guy’s pointless story and withstood his all-out assault on my nostrils should prove that I am kind to a fault. I really should have asked one of the bartenders for access to the cleaning products so I could throw a can of Comet on the guy, or repeatedly spray him with Lysol. Read the rest of this entry »
For years Allen Iverson has been breaking people ankles on the basketball court, so I guess it’s only right that someone gave it right back to him last week. I’ve been an Iverson fan since his high school days, but somewhere I know Michael Jordan, Antonio Daniels and Tyronn Lue are probably raising a drink and laughing at A.I. finally getting a taste of his own crossover medicine!
This old school Hai Karate commercial laid the foundation for all of the testosterone-fueled clips Americans are force-fed during most sporting events and prime-time shows popular with young men. I wonder what Hai Karate used to smell like? More importantly, this dude karate-chopped up his own living room in order to avoid being raped! I wonder if he’s taking her to court or something.
I’m thinking WAY too much about this, huh?
