I Don’t Want To Join Your Mafia Family

I’m sorry, but I do not want to join your Mafia family. To whomever this may concern, please refrain from sending me any more invitations to join you in playing Mob Wars. If not, I just may be forced to send a couple of actual mafia hit men to your house. If you come home one evening and find Frank Stromboli and Jimmy Two-Toes waiting for you on your living room couch, you’ll already know why. Read the rest of this entry »

The Family Cookout

I’m attending a family cookout today. Since my mother gives me a hard time whenever I make jokes about family members on here, I will refrain from blogging about the crazy stuff my family does. However, that doesn’t mean I won’t tweet about them! If ever there were a day to follow me on Twitter, it’s today. Read the rest of this entry »

Obama Family: “Rewind Selector! Bo! Bo! Bo!”

The Obama girls are finally getting their puppy. Sorry for the corny dancehall reggae-inspired title, but I couldn’t think of anything more clever than a play on the dog’s name, “Bo.” I must say, the Portuguese water dog that they selected is way better looking than that scary Satan’s Hound of the Damned that was first being considered. I still have nightmares about that dog knocking on my front door while standing on two legs, saying “Your soul is required in HELL!” Read the rest of this entry »

Be A Father To Your Child

I saw a commercial this morning that made me laugh out loud. Therefore, it is worthy of posting here on ListenToLeon.net:

It has a great message and I’m all for parents taking an active role in their child’s life…but if I were in that position, we’d have to practice that cheer somewhere indoors! Preferably, a room with with no windows. I’ll be damned if I prance around in broad daylight like that, when there are other feasible and less embarrassing options available!

Oh yeah, here’s the song that inspired the title of this entry.