No Ugly First Dogs!

To the Obama family: Just say NO to ugly dogs! The first family’s search for a hypoallergenic pet dog has become national news, to the point that the Peruvian government has offered to give one to the President-elect and his family.

No offense to Peru, but I hope the Obamas decide to pass on the offer. I mean, have you seen this dog?

That thing looks like a spawn of Satan! If it were green and had a mohawk, one could easily confuse this dog with Spike from the movie “Gremlins.” I know the dog can’t help the way that it looks, but I’m just saying…It reminds me of bald people with no eyebrows. In fact, Any hairless mammal is somewhat creepy when you think about it.

Barack Obama, please get your people to do more research before settling on this canine version of Mr. Bigglesworth. You are not Dr. Evil, so you have no need for a pet that looks this freaky.

Joe The Plumber’s Butt Crack Is Visible

Am I the only person who got tired of the repeated Joe The Plumber references in tonight’s election? I kept saying to myself, “Who the hell is Joe?”

Then I asked myself, “I wonder if Joe has hired an agent yet?” You can’t buy that kind of press! Joe the Plumber, or for that matter, any plumber named Joe, needs to start getting clips of the debate together to make a commercial for his business! A low-budget commercial with both candidates dropping your name? That could be the next great cheesy television commercial that gets stuck in your head at 2AM.

“If you have a phone, YOU HAVE A LAWYER!”
“800 588-2300…EMPIRE!”

and now, “The both candidates stand behind Joe the Plumber!” Read the rest of this entry »

Still Working Out The Kinks

I’m still working out some of these issues with the latest version of Wordpress, so please be patient with me. I really wanted to write something earlier today about the incredible speech that Barak Obama made last night.

I also wanted to talk about that John McCain ad where he attempted to show some class and congratulate Obama. On one hand, the man spent about $100,000 to air the thing, so I can’t completely question his intentions. On the other hand, he’s put out so many other crappy commercials slamming Obama, it’s not too much of a stretch to think this commercial is just an attempt to save face, so he won’t appear like a total jackass to the general public after that nonsense Paris Hilton commercial. Read the rest of this entry »

BWA Finalist Thank You

For the third straight year, you loyal and devoted ListenToLeon.net readers have made me a finalist in the Black Weblog Awards. This time, in not one but two categories: Best Humor Blog and Best Personal Blog.

I want to thank each and every one of you for all of the support you’ve shown over the years. I humbly ask that you take your stankin’ asses back to the Black Weblog Awards page and vote for me now, since we’re not quite across the finish line just yet. I can’t slow down and coast across the finish line the way Usain Bolt did the other day. If anything, I have to kick things into overdrive! Especially since I’m up against a celebrity gossip site in the humor category. I’m a popular dude, but it’s hard to compete against stories focused on people who actually are famous! So vote for me and make me the next great American underdog comeback-kid story. Rocky Balboa. Daniel-San. McLovin. And up next, Leon.

*** THANKS AGAIN…BUT I NEED YOUR VOTES NOW ***

http://www.blackweblogawards.com/database/step1.php

Remember that you can only fill out the form once, so don’t cheat! I definitely appreciate any and all support in my quest to win another Black Weblog Award.    Read the rest of this entry »

Secret Service Is Going To Come After Me

Before you start worrying that I’m going the be the next Reverend Wright figure to come out of the woodworks, let me clear things up: This is a cutout, NOT the real Obama. I just saw the cutout, and couldn’t resist the opportunity to shamelessly promote my sh*t.

So to all of the Secret Service agents who will be spying on me after I press the “publish” button, no need to beat me down or interrogate me. I have too much Darryl Jenks ‘89 swagger to go to prison.

:)

News Networks Needs More Black Employees

Network news needs to hire more black people. The proof lies in the following video. Had there been a black person handy, maybe there would have been no need to create an entire news segment around this one little gesture:

  Read the rest of this entry »

High Five

Yep, I took it back to 1988 with my congratulatory post for Barak Obama. The high-five is officially an acceptible greeting again for the next 24 hours. I’m gonna use Obama’s winning the nomination to party like an ‘88 draft pick this weekend. So if you see me out and about in some James Worthy goggles, this entry explains it.