Uncomfortable Shoes

Ever see a pair of shoes in the closet that you haven’t worn in a long time, and asked yourself “why don’t I wear these more often?” This happened to me yesterday. Since they looked perfectly normal, I put them on, and left for work. About halfway into my trip, I remembered EXACTLY why I stopped wearing them. Those shoes are EXTREMELY uncomfortable!

As I walked around yesterday, I was made to wonder why my right shoe evidently had a strong hatred for the back of my heel. I say this because it rubbed against me to the point that it drew blood. Good thing Achilles didn’t wear this particular pair of Cole-Haan hard-bottoms when he went to battle. If so, the Illiad would have been a short story instead of an epic poem. Poor Achilles would have walked on the battlefield and instantly collapsed, having bled to death from a dress shoe exploiting the only place an injury could get the best of him.  Read the rest of this entry »

The Gout Strikes Back!

I am officially an old man. As I mentioned before in one of my more candid blog entries, I have THE GOUT! As I also said before, you are no longer considered young or cool once you come down with a condition with “The” in front of the name. Think about it: When was the last time you heard of someone sexy say they have the whooping cough? It just doesn’t happen!

Most people that have medical issues like this are at least 60 years old and out of shape. Which is why there is only ONE valid explanation for my having the gout: I have done enough partying and fast-living in my 31 years for TWO lifetimes of low-life degenerates! I guess it’s time to slow it down a taste.

Of course, all of this somber retrospection is happening because I am in a bit of pain. When you’re not able to do the things that you took for granted, like walking comfortably, you have to live right. I couldn’t be a pimp right now if I wanted to! I can’t threaten to put a foot to anyone’s ass, if I can’t even put proper shoes on my own foot! My hypothetical stable of hoes would walk their clear stripper heels all over me right now. Read the rest of this entry »

Taking A Blogger Beating

Last year around this time, I wrote about playing in the annual basketball games that folks from the Russ Parr Message Board have every year. I also posted a link to the video, where I cracked jokes and watched from the sidelines, because my teams lost every game. This past Saturday, the games were held, only this time, payback was on the agenda!

I went from losing all three games that I played in, to winning every single one, and being on the court for somewhere in the neighborhood of 7 to 9 consecutive games(I lost count). It got to the point that I felt like I was on a real team, since we played together long enought to know where everybody was going to be on the court, and what they tended to do in certain situatiouns. All we needed was a coach, a playbook and some groupies. Read the rest of this entry »