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Bad Weaves and Wigs Scare Me | Yeah...I said it

Bad Weaves and Wigs Scare Me

There are very few things on Earth that make my skin crawl. At or near the top of that list, is women with bad wigs and/or weaves. I hate to do it, but I must speak on this topic, since folks have asked me to clarify my stance on the matter.

It all boils down to one simple sentence: If it appears to be quite artificial, then just say no! I’m not talking about looking a little bit fake. I’m talking about weaves that sit up on top or real hair. Weaves where you can see the glue and other stuff used to keep it in place. Weaves that have the visible lace front that resembles the beginning of some pantyhose. Those are the worst ones in my opinion, because it makes me think that after I finish dancing with this woman, she’s gonna pull a nylon stocking down from the front of her hair and rob me at gunpoint.

Wigs…what can I say? When your hairline appears to be AN ACTUAL LINE, it makes me wonder about you. What is this woman trying to hide? Does she have a bald spot with tiny little hair sprouts in the front like Rob Coddry? Does she hate herself? Or just me? Why God? Why?!?!

If any of you female readers is suffering from baldness, I am not trying to make fun of your plight. I am merely trying to educate the public, in my own heavy-handed, brutally honest way. If you do not need to cover up bald spots or hide a hairstyle gone awry, then please avoid wigs and bad weaves. Go natural, or wear your own hair in a style that complements you. However, if you must make that move to sport a wig or weave, remember these tips:

  1. Don’t choose any crazy colors. You see the woman in the photo above? She wouldn’t be bad looking, if she’d decided against that 1999 Venus Williams look she has on her head. That look screams out ” I work in the sex trade.”
  2. Be realistic about the length. Please do not go for that “Tina Turner” look.
  3. Expect to get called out from time to time. People talk, you know.

I hope this gave you all a little more insight into my disdain for bad weaves and wigs. I’m against most ridiculously artificial enhancements in general, but the hair thing is at or near the top of the list since it’s among the most noticable things about a person. I know India Arie made that song “I Am Not My Hair” which had a wonderful message, but I beg to differ ladies. When your head looks both fake AND ridiculous, then yes, you are your hair!

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This post was written by who has written 1738 posts on Yeah…I said it.

Comedian, writer and shake dancer on the Chippendale's Senior Circuit.

18 Responses to “Bad Weaves and Wigs Scare Me”

  1. Wonderlove 26. Mar, 2009 at 2:18 pm #

    “…after I finish dancing with this woman, she’s gonna pull a nylon stocking down from the front of hair and rob me at gunpoint.”

    ::DEAD::

    I see your point, Leon. But I don’t get the big deal. A woman should wear her hair how she wants as long as it’s clean. Hell, I pay good money for my weaves and don’t give a rats butt if someone calls me out. LOL

  2. ListenToLeon 26. Mar, 2009 at 2:23 pm #

    Like I said, it’s MY pet peeve. Most dudes don’t care about this nearly as much as I do! LOL

  3. Jason 26. Mar, 2009 at 2:33 pm #

    I just realize I feel the same way about cake on makeup. I’m talking about the five or six coats of Teflon infused makeup. Don’t get me wrong there are a lot women who know how to put on makeup ……..then there are those who literally will look like a totally different person if they wash they face. You out at the club dancing with what looks like Rosario Dawson’s twin next she comes out the shower and she looks like VH1′s New York’s mom.

  4. Sasha 26. Mar, 2009 at 2:37 pm #

    That late night commercial about lace fronts scares me. The woman has this unnatural color of hair…dare I say it is chestnut? Anyway her lacefront hairline is 1 cinimeter from her eyebrows.

  5. Wonderlove 26. Mar, 2009 at 2:46 pm #

    LMAO, YA’LL ARE CRAZY!!! MY STOMACH HURTS FROM LAUGHING SO HARD!!!

    Poin taken, Leon..now come go with me to the hair store and help me pick out a platinum blonde Yaki 16 inch…LOL

  6. Thembi 26. Mar, 2009 at 2:52 pm #

    This post is freaking great.

  7. TC 26. Mar, 2009 at 3:53 pm #

    LMAO. Damn foo

  8. caviar jones 26. Mar, 2009 at 4:15 pm #

    Leon,

    Weaves, wigs and too much make up are also pet peeves of mine. I may be able to put up with them for the greater good, like you are a movie star or actress and your hair needs a break. But if you are not in the public eye like that, play to your natural strengths. A woman is most beautiful when she is herself physically, mentally and spiritually. And if you must, a little goes a long way…

  9. PBG 26. Mar, 2009 at 5:12 pm #

    The girl in the picture should have opted for a quality bra instead of that horrific weave. For a woman w/large breasts, a good bra is an investment worth making.

    I am all natural w/the whole hair thing but I can appreciate a good weave. I appreciate and share your disdain for raggedy hairhats. They look like woodland creatures who’ve wandered out of the forest and settled in on some woman’s head. Ewww.

  10. PBG 27. Mar, 2009 at 9:26 am #

    The girl in the picture should have opted for a quality bra instead of that horrific weave. For a woman w/large breasts, a good bra is an investment worth making.

    I am all natural w/the whole hair thing but I can appreciate a good weave. I appreciate and share your disdain for raggedy hairhats. They look like woodland creatures who’ve wandered out of the forest and settled in on some woman’s head. Ewww.
    OH! You’re my new favorite blogger fyi

  11. milkmayun 27. Mar, 2009 at 10:51 am #

    the google ad immediately under your story for affordable lace wigs is providing all sorts of unintentional comedy!

  12. ListenToLeon 27. Mar, 2009 at 10:59 am #

    @ Milkmayun, when I first saw that, I laughed, too. I almost clicked on it to get more visual examples to illustrate the post!

    @ PBG every time I hear “woodland creatures”, I think about South Park!!!

    @ Caviar Jones and Jason, I agree.

    @ Thembi and TC, thanks

    @ Wonderlove, I’ll go with you…and laugh! LOL

    @ Sasha, that commercial scares me, too. Her wig makes her look like Michael J. Fox in “Teen Wolf”

  13. Phoenix7 27. Mar, 2009 at 11:53 am #

    LMAO…..

  14. Sarah 19. Mar, 2010 at 4:48 pm #

    Hey, watch it now. You would be surprised what some people will do when “bad hair day’ comes around.

    Wigs can be life savers!!

  15. wig 25. Feb, 2011 at 5:58 am #

    Hey, watch it now. You would be surprised what some people will do when “bad hair day’ comes around.
    Thank you for post.

  16. violet 28. Aug, 2012 at 3:30 am #

    I wear a weave When I have abused my hair from coloring & blowdrying or if a hairdresser cut too much off A weave gives my own hair a rest & I can get up and go & not have to fuss A weave helps retain your length while its growing because it protects your hair from the elements so it seems like it grew faster Its important to find a licensed weaver & buy good quality hair so you end up with a nice natural looking weave If a woman is happier wearing a weave than dealing with her own hair for whatever reason Power to her Rock that Weave

  17. muii 07. Jan, 2013 at 3:16 am #

    thanks for that

  18. Tiffanye 19. Jan, 2013 at 3:33 am #

    Absolutely loved this post!

    Even though I have plenty of my own hair, I have worn tracks before just to see how I’d look with a different color before I actually colored it. They were NOT for me. The feel of it sewn in my head drove me crazy. As for wigs, just for a different look instead of chopping all my hair off.

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