There is a lot in a name. Especially when you’re a black guy with an ex-con name like “Leon.” I realize that some of the things that I do are simply out of my control. Despite my intellect, winning personality and overall unofficial sex symbol aura, from time to time, I find myself behaving in a manner that perpetuates negative stereotypes about black people. I believe the clinical term for this condition is “acting n*ggerish” or as it’s called in more descriptive academic circles, “on some n*gga bulsh*t.” Today, I found myself in a face-to-face confrontation with my stereotype-enhancing subconscious. The Gucci Mane equivalent of Mr. Hyde to my normal Barack Obama-style Dr. Jekyll dealings. Yes, I’m referring to my Inner N*gga, who also happens to be named “Leon.” Ladies and gentlemen, today I am blogging about free chicken.
Yes folks, click here for your chance to RSVP for free spicy chicken nuggets from Chick-fil-A. Yes, you read that correctly. RSVP. For fried chicken. If this were some other chicken spot, I might be able to act like I’m better than this, but Chick-fil-A? CHICK-FIL-A?! I would fight Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao in the SAME DAY if I were being paid in free Chick-fil-A. Therefore, I don’t care what type of stereotype I’m enhancing by taking advantage of this offer. Besides, white people eat fried chicken too! You don’t get that popular without crossover success!
Fried chicken may actually save my life someday. Just in case I need to barter my way out of a big girl ass-whipping thanks to my jokes, I carry these around at all times. I can’t lie, if those were Chick-fil-A coupons instead of KFC, I would not give them out. I’d just have to take my ass whipping like a man.
Before I end this entry, I must focus special attention on the Chick-fil-A in Downtown Silver Spring, MD. They’re not on the free spicy nuggets list, but that place has the best customer service of any fast food restaurant I’ve ever gone to in my life. They go above and beyond the call, like checking on you while you’re sitting down eating and asking how your dining experience is. Can you imagine if a McDonalds employee did that?
McDonalds Employee: So sir, how is your meal?
Customer: Thanks for asking, *reads name tag* Poochie, is it? OK Poochie. This dollar menu cheeseburger is kind of bland and surprisingly greasy, but it only cost a dollar so you know, what can you say? I’d be able to enjoy it a little more if the body odor from that bearded fellow talking to himself in the booth over there weren’t traveling this way.
The mere fact that they can pay attention to customers without getting cursed out or laughed at says a lot for a fast food restaurant. I’m going to stop talking about chicken now, because I’ve written WAY too much about the subject today. Plus, my Inner N*gga is ready to go to sleep on the couch. Thanks for reading!Tweet