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12-12-12 | Yeah...I said it

12-12-12

Check out all the 12s in the URL to this page. It’s enough to make one dizzy.

As I sat here trying to remember what I did on 11/11/11, it dawned on me: I didn’t give a damn about that day either. 12/12/12 is just another Wednesday to me, albeit a Wednesday that looks kind of cool when written down. It’s 9PM right now and no Mayan doomsday scenarios have come to pass, which I would say is a good thing. Even though it’s not technically due until 12/21/12, I don’t know why anyone would take that end of the world stuff seriously to begin with. The Mayans did not see Cortés coming centuries ago, so I have major doubts about the reliability of their psychic powers. You’d think “murderous Conquistadors at 6:00!” would trump “the end of days is only over 600 years away.” Then again, who am I to judge these people on their collective sense of prophetic urgency?

I hope that you are doing something memorable for your 12/12/12. I just ate a pomegranate. Those things are surprisingly filling. Don’t tell anyone, but I had to google the words “how to eat a pomegranate” before starting my snack. I did not want to mess up the seed clusters, so I decided to consult the internet since that is what I always do when anything confuses me in life. Thanks to some awesome person’s article, I now know how to open a pomegranate up without destroying any of the alien spore-looking seeds that lie within.

If by some cryogenic Walt Disney stretch of the imagination I am around on Jan. 1, 3001, or 1-1-1, I can tell the world “I learned to eat pomegranates on 12/12/12.”

 

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Comedian, writer and shake dancer on the Chippendale's Senior Circuit.

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