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Halloween Whippings

As you can see, I am keeping it classy this Halloween. This year’s costume is fictional Chippendale’s dancer Beef Swellington, a.k.a. Magic Ike. I wear silly costumes every year partially because I love to make people laugh, but mostly because I spent many a childhood Halloween in cheap drug store costumes. These costumes consisted of […]

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Lotion Lessons

I borrowed lotion from someone yesterday. Six hours after application, I realized that there were tiny glitter sparkles in the stuff. I walked around town oblivious and shimmering for the bulk of the day. All I wanted to do was avoid being ashy, but I went from ashy to flashy in a very non-masculine way […]

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I Was The Black Magic Mike

You have to love how friends find ways of reminding you of moments you thought your mind had fully repressed. Unfortunately my blocked out recollections were somewhat strippery. I went to New York last weekend to see my best friends from college, Wade and E. While there, E reminded me of something I’d totally forgotten: […]

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My Retirement From Blogging

I am retiring from blogging, effective immediately. I have decided to enter a more lucrative field: shaking my ass for cash. That’s right: I’m Rick Rude-ing y’all hoes from now on. God blessed me with this awesome physique and ruggedly handsome features, so why waste my time thinking, and writing and doing smart shit, when […]

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My Refrigerator Is NSFW

My refrigerator is decorated with Obama and ass. Click here if you don’t believe me(slightly NSFW). I live down the street from a strip club, so booty fliers get littered throughout the neighborhood. Since unsolicited ass is literally being littered about, why not be creative with it? This was not my original idea, but I […]

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Pole Dancing at Bacheror Parties? Yes. Weddings? No

If ever there were proof that God intended for pole dancing to remain in strip clubs and out of places like aerobic classes and family gatherings, it’s this clip right here. Tweet

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